Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Mental Pedophilia

A friend of mine, Fred and I were discussing dating and our turn offs. Ok, actually we were discussing this girl he had a date with, but was thinking of canceling. The only reason he was thinking of going was that he was assured he was getting sex. But the more he thought about the upcoming event the more he didn't want to do her and the more he admitted that he wasn't attracted to her at all.


Which prompted me to ask why he didn't find her attractive. Most girls assume that if a guy is banging us, that he's at least somewhat attracted. So I was curious.


He replied, "Its just an all around unattractiveness. We have nothing in common and she can't spell for shit! My biggest pet peeve in the world. She tried sending me a dirty email once and I couldn't finish it because her spelling was so bad. "Ill be on my hands and niece" She couldn't even spell "knees" right. Dammit. Just thinking about it makes my dick shrink."


Rarely do I get to meet a guy who has these kinds of standards, and I always knew there was a reason Fred and I were friends. I have the same issues with finding men. If he can't spell, he'd better be able to prove to me that its not because he's a moron, but because of dyslexia or some other condition, and had better be a proponent of education and learning.


This is how Fred and I got to discussing "Mental Pedophilia" (Fred's term btw, and I happen to love it.). He defines it as "don't you realize that this girl has the intelligence and common sense of a 14 year old? You realize that its illegal to have sex with a 14 year old right? How is this any different?"


I define it simply as "Mental Pedophilia - dating someone mentally young enough to be illegal, or simple enough that you're taking advantage of an unarmed person." Its a lot like getting "informed consent" for the relationship.


If I can wrap you around my finger without you knowing that you're under my spell, then the attraction is much less. Who really wants just a puppet? Now if you know you're wrapped around my finger, and you love it, cherish it, and want to be there... then who am I to ruin your fun. Worship me baby! :)


If your brains are still forming or have stunted growth so you really can't understand the difference between they're and their, then I feel like I'm with child and I only want men. Sorry.


So far as I know though, "Mental Pedophilia" has not been proven illegal except in severe cases of mental deficiency.. but for me (and my friends) its just way icky.


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