Dating Profiles are probably one of the hardest and worst things to write. Partly because its text and personality does not always come across in text like you'd desire, and partly because everything you say can be interpreted a million different ways than how you intended.
For example.. this brilliant witty woman's profile:
My Self-Summary
Me: Silly, introspective, resilient, curious, spunky but not too Mary Tyler Moore-ish. (If you get that reference, you're both a) in my age range and b) a pop culture junkie like me), dedicated to achieving my goals. I'm outspoken when I need to be, but don't have to show up for every fight. I've left behind my ideas about puppy dogs and rainbows and all the ooey gooey things we grow up believing about love and commitment. It's hard and sometimes it's brutal. But I believe it's worth it. I don't seek perfection and hopefully you don't either.
If I didn't know this woman, I would seriously be turning the page after the first sentence. She makes herself sound way too old and out of date. Nobody really wants someone living in the past, and she starts way too early in her profile with what would be considered hobbies (pop-culture) making those hobbies sound like insane obsessions.
Then there's the "dedicated to achieving my goals" part which to most people means a workaholic and if you get in her way you'll get ran over.
The next few sentences squelch any romantic ideas and seem overly cynical. Come on.. who doesn't like puppy dogs now and then? Even if you don't believe that relationships are all roses, most people still have that dream that at least a few of the days of a relationship will have rainbows. Making fun of love doesn't usually get you any.
Her next section however looks great, but most people aren't going to read that far.
What I’m doing with my life
Making the most of it while pursuing a dream. I've worked hard the last few years and am now fortunate to have started a business that supports me while I get to indulge and pursue another dream of writing a book. No, not looking for a sugar daddy or a boy toy. I do just fine, thanks. I can pay my bills and have absolutely no problem treating you to dinner or paying for the tickets. It's not the money spent, but the consideration that counts. Helping me on with my coat is like two front row seats to a Broadway show. Holding a door for me is like an expensive dinner.
This is a healthy happy woman just looking for a good man. Excellent.
The rest of her profile is similarly awesome until you get to the end. She mentions correcting grammar (her own) but still she should leave that out. Nothing critical of self or anyone else should ever be in a profile.
And then lists 4 of her flaws which she calls "Challenges".. (which I'm told are not on her actual profile. PHEW)
1. My age. I don't lie about my age. So, just by being 40, my options are naturally limited. My preferred age range is 38-48. I don't email anyone younger than 42 unless their profile states they already have kids or are a "maybe" on wanting kids.
2. I'm attractive but not objectively so. On a scale of 1-10, I'd say I'm about a 6/6.5. So, while some men might find me attractive, most are holding out for "better."
3. My body. Listen, I look much better than I did two years ago. But I'm still not the "ideal" size or weight.
4. My email replies. To be honest, so many of these guys either say the same exact thing in their profiles or say obscure stuff or nothing at all. I have no idea what to say to most of them that doesn't sound like I;m trying to hard or over-selling myself.
If she feels its a problem to have age restrictions or kids restrictions, she may want to add:
"Please feel free to message me if you're interested. I prefer men within the age range of 38-48. I'm not interested in having kids myself, but do not mind if you have kids of your own."
Just as a disclaimer to help her from getting bogged down with too many useless emails.
Btw if you go to the link backs, and see her photos.. the woman is gorgeous. Seriously girl.. You're awesome. Not only should Men should know that, but you should too. You're smoking, and there is no need to apologize for it. Everyone always has a list of improvements they'd like to make, but trust me.. you're hot.
The opener sounds like I'd need to take an advil or 6 15 minutes before meeting her for the first time to cope with the energy level. She goes on in that paragraph to seem a bit dejected and cynical about life and love.
ReplyDeleteSecond bit is good but it does make it sound like she needs to take part in life a bit more than she is. But that could just be my projections.
If the profile has accompanying pics, refrain from talking about how you look. I snapped right to the "I look better than I did two years ago." That's an awful lot of saying in that thar sentence. Women always obsess more about how they look than the men they're trying to attract (when doing so.)
And yes, she's cute as a button.