Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Dating A Parent

Dear Parents out there who are attempting to date single non-parents,

I just wanted to let you know that we all get that you have kids. You've let us know, and we're cool with it.  Some of us might absolutely love it. 

But what we don't want right now, especially before ever meeting your child, is the cutsie play by play of what adorable thing your child did just now or earlier. 

If its not something that will have everyone in the world rolling with laughter, such as your daughter just flipped off your boss by showing him her owie.. then we don't need to know and probably don't want to know.

We do want to know about you. So if your child is suffering from cancer, yeah we want to know because its going to affect you. If you spent the entire day at a theme park with your child and are exhausted, yeah we want to know. What we don't need to know about is the evenings you two spent building a tower only to knock it down, or the time you and your little girl washed each others hair and how you let her comb yours. Let alone a play by play of either of those events.

While those moments are precious, they're also private moments between the two of you. We're not a family yet, so please don't feed us these stories on an ongoing basis. It will either make us crazy to belong to the family, or make us feel like an outsider. Neither of which you want. Trust me.

What you do want, and what we want.. is to see if the two of us fit together. That requires getting to know you. Not just the parent you, but the you at work, the you at play, and just YOU.  Only once we've figured out if we're a good fit, are we even going to want to venture into your family.  And only if we're a good fit should you even let us.

So please.. stop texting me the play by play of how cute you are with your kid. 



  1. Speak the truth sister, and speak it LOUD!

  2. AGREED! I co-sign this. Also unappealing? A man's dating bio which states: "I'm a Dad and my kids come first." Well DUH, whose don't?

    Much like the person who feels compelled to tell me how honest they are, the fact that a Dad needs to state that his kid comes first (rather than *show* he's a loving Dad who also has life-balance) tells me something very important about him: the only person who truly comes first in his life is probably HIM.

  3. Okay. Did someone really text you the play by play of how cute he and his kid are together?

    You mentioned that someone constantly talking about their cute kids would make their single childless partner "crazy to belong to the family, or make us feel like an outsider". For me it would do neither. IMO if that is all a man has to tell me about his day, he's probably a little too boring for me.

  4. Skye Blue - yes someone did send me a play by play of his cutsie activities with his 2 yr old daughter.

  5. Hehehe, funny...
    So many times I have experienced this. I think I am rather tolerant of it but I have to admit it is nearly as tedious as hearing about one's pet.
    Although, my cat is pretty kick-ass and waking up with a bloody mouse stuck to my back made a rather interesting story.

  6. Next time you're intimate with someone else, you should text the play-by-play of your exploits to the parent of cutsie 2 yr old. That'll show him!