Friday, January 22, 2010

Men Are Confusing

I've been in a funk. I really don't want to go anywhere or do anything. I have reasons for this, which I won't bore you with those details. Suffice it to say merely, that I've come to enjoy the simplicity of staying home by myself.

But a friend of mine was having a birthday party, and as much as I wanted to cancel, Alex (of Urbandater) scared me into going. Mostly I knew I should go anyway.

I get there an it's as I've feared. All girls. Ok there's J the host, and some guy across the room who seemed fun but totally not interested. He was way occupied by size 2 hotties and seemed completely satisfied with that. Can't really blame him.

Cassie's friends are a variety of girls. Usually on the side of girly girls. Fabulous women, but not usually my kind of company. I can be fabulous, but I can't pull it off 24/7 without a lobotomy or other major brain transformation. The draw to just sit down and chug a beer while wearing a T-shirt and jeans.. is just too powerful.

I'm a mix of girly and tomboy.

So for the first 20 minutes or so, I was bored but trying to make the best of it by talking to some random girl who was the least fabulous one. She still had fantastic heels on, but jeans, T-shirt, and cardigan. She'd just gotten off work she said. She seemed ok and possibly fun, but we were interrupted.

In came the rest of the party, a group of 3 men and one girl. The men were above average looks and trendy. One caught my eye.

His name was sexy... for safety sake lets call him Mr. Dirt. I've always liked his name. Its short with no need for a nickname. So when he looked at me and introduced himself, I was interested.

It also helped that he has that real look. He's not glamorous handsome. He's not some kind of model. He doesn't look like he works out 24/7. But his face is handsome and he's got great hair (the kind you want to run your hands through and wonder what it might look like in the morning). He's got just a little "extra" but otherwise he looks fit and healthy. He has that "I use my brain" look that I absolutely love.

We talked briefly before he turned his back to me to talk to another girl. It confused me because he seemed interested at first, and I was certain I'd not said anything off-putting. *shrug*

So I mingle. He mingles. But its a small apartment so we often end up next to each other. Each time, he seems to pull away or move away from me.

Ok, Ok... I fucking get it already. You're not interested. Point Taken.

Its getting late and I'm getting bored as all hell. So I decide to leave. I grab my jacket and purse, and say my goodbyes.

Then Mr Dirt notices. He looks up shocked from his conversation with Hottie #4 or so, and makes eye contact. His conversation is stopped and all his concentration is on me.

He says to me.. mouths really.. "Oh you're leaving?" in a way that makes me think he's kicking himself for not getting my number.

I'm nod yes as I'm saying goodbye to some friends near him.

He moves to say Goodbye to me, and awkwardly approaches me as if he can't decide to initiate a hug or handshake.

We shake hands. I leave puzzled.

Dumbass Men.

Cassie's having another party tomorrow night. I don't know if Mr Dirt will be there or not. I wasn't planning to go, but I may. *shrugs* I've not much else to do, so we'll see how I feel tomorrow.


  1. Men confuse me, too, and last time I checked...I was one. However, I think I know what was going on here, but I may also be way off base. Many men -- I am not one of them but this isn't really about me so never mind -- are interesting in miss right NOW as opposed to miss right. Mr. Dirt may have been working the room hoping for one of the size 2, trendy hotties, but due to your earlier connection he figured he had you sewed up, so to speak. Maybe it was going well with the hotties, maybe it wasn't, but when he saw you leave, he realized he was losing one of his options.

    Or, it's probably more likely that I have no idea what I'm talking about, Mr. Dirt was interested but shy and his kicking himself in the ass now hoping to meet you again at the next party. Yeah, that scenario sounds better.

    BTW, not that it really matters, but I LOVE a woman who can wear jeans and drink beer, but, as you say, can be fabulous when the time calls for it.

  2. Playing the a deck of cards. So many guys do it! Good for you actually to get out of there first. Let him want you enough so that the next time paths cross, he'll be more likely to get your number. And if they never do cross, his loss.

  3. Its one of those things that had I been a third party, I'd have instantly come up with the same conclusion as you both. Alas, I'm dating stupid when it comes to guys I find attractive.

    In the light of today, looking in hindsight.. You both are most definitely right.

    Usually when this happens said Man is usually bright enough to continue to include me in conversations (for men listening btw, including the less attractive girl in the conversation with the hottie you're interested in.. throws the hottie off guard and makes her like you more for being friendly with her friends. it also makes her think you like her for more than just looks) rather than exclude me or downright pull away as if I've got some kind of cooties.

    Anyway, doesn't matter.. if I see him again.. he's in the "Friend" doghouse for now. He's got an uphill battle if he decides he wants to ask me out.

    I don't do well playing second fiddle.. or last choice.

  4. I scared you into going, huh? =) I'm glad I still have the "touch." Girl of True Heart has a great point. That you left him wanting more interaction is a good thing. You will be in his mind and the next time you see him, or if, he'll be all over you like ants on a candy bar that's melted and sitting by your food on a summer day. You see those little turds on your food and you know that a hole friend of your left the candy bar out and didn't throw it away. The utter lack of respect is enough to boil a person's blood... Anyway. Hi!