Sunday, June 20, 2010

Indulging My Inner Sadist

Black Leather Male Body Harness with Detachable Front O-ringsThere is one day a month where I am quite clearly not normal. On this lovely day, I have a huge undercurrent of angry. I might be able to smile and put on a good show, but more than likely if you hit any of my buttons, I will attempt to take your head off and put it in my pocket as a souvenir.

Every girl has this day.. some have more than one.. some have a week.. some have just a couple hours.. but every girl has this day.

Where the pain only subsides with doses of medication. The hormones run free like the niagra falls. And men suddenly lose their humanity and become beings to enslave and torture.

Or that could just be me.

I have one day a month where I get mentally violent. If I had no will-power, no conscience, no ethics, no religious belief, no rationality, and no fear of being locked away... this one day a month, people would die, people would be tortured and maimed.. it would be carnage.. carnage everywhere!

Ok maybe not everywhere.. I'm generally in enough pain that moving outside of my bedroom for the first few hours takes an act of God. So probably would just be carnage in the bedroom.

Fortunately for us all, I do have powerful doses of empathy, rationality, and conscience. As such I keep murderous and sadistic tendancies to my imagination.

CBT: Cock-and Ball Torture in a Nutshell (SMTech Educational)Thus I am mentally violent. This sometimes comes out in my writing as violent wording and sometimes plain threats of violence as well. I also tend to love to say "Bastard" and "Asshole" about everything and anything that may go wrong.

If you're a man in a relationship with me, trust me.. that one day a month is spent picturing myself sadistically torturing your privates so you get to feel like I do once a month. I probably won't tell you that, because it'll scare the crap out of you and make you want to alert the FBI to watch my place for furture murders.

While I say a day.. its generally just 6 hours.

During these 6 hours, I will be bitchy. I will push people away. I will hermit. If you're sweet, you'll want to help me by bringing me things or getting me some pills.. and while I'll secretly love it, I will also grumble and quite likely to tell you to F off.

This is for your own safety. Remember, I am likely picturing myself kicking you in the balls despite the fact that I may love you or care for you deeply. It is because of that that I will want you far far away from me.. so I don't actually kick you in the balls.

(Because when all this is over, I'll still want you to come around... and I'll be happy that I didn't maim you.)

I will also give you a heads up warning.. "Hey honey, its started." You will learn these words are a signal to make yourself scarce. At first, you'll try..but eventually you'll just start running. I won't blame you for that. However, you will share half the blame for anything that occurs if you stay around.
Roses - Dozen Assorted Rose Flowers + 6 FREE with Vase
You were warned after all.
So if you want to avoid being maimed and tortured, run away and then send flowers from wherever you are. I'll text you when its safe to return.. I mean if I want you to come back. ;)


  1. The question is: what's the fallout? Each woman I've been with, it seems, has this idea that whatever they do or say during this Torrid Time is permissible and, in fact, washed away w/no need of apology or even acknowledgment during or afterward.

    Now, I understand the physics of pain and empathize w/the situation women have to endure during this time (and salute you for bothering to warn anyone you're with, allowing them the freedom to locate the nearest library fallout shelter asap) but I just don't believe there's any time in a guy's life where he gets that type of freedom to be an a-hole w/out any repercussions. At least, none that I know of nor would agree to being all right w/as, to me, giving in to such depravity of character freely isn't right no matter the time. Just confused by the inequality of it as a lot of things in the battle of the sexes, I guess. Now, please don't kill me..or at least make it quick, will ya'?

  2. Brewers_Rule - I will more than happily submit to giving men a day to be an asshole free of charge.. if they also submit to a day of CBT torture with no limits and no safeword. Life isn't fair. We women already know that. When you get kicked in the balls for 6 hours every month.. then we'll talk. :)