Swooning Chickens

I'm seriously swooning. So much that I'm a little scared by it.

I've been in awe of this guy for a while. I had a little bit of a crush I guess, though I'd never really thought of him as a viable candidate.

Then I read something he wrote. Something so raw and passionate.. so light yet dark.. that I realized he speaks my language.

I am scared.

We talked for a bit. The more we talked, the more scared I got. I like him.

I have lots of irons in the fire. Don't get me wrong. I still have little fires going for several men.. several relatively safe men. Good men. Men that I can see myself being happy with, having fun with.. having a life with..

But this one.. this fire is dangerous. I've seen it before. I've been here before. This is the kind of fire that consumes all of you. All of you.

This fire has burned me bad every time I've succumbed to it. It's so drawing that I don't usually have a choice but to submit to it. To surrender.

The loveliest of times.. the strongest of passions.. the completest of loves.. Followed by the the most devastating of hurts.

Everything in me wants to run to him, and run away from him at the very same time. He reminds me of my greatest loves.

It's that that scares me the most. (or maybe that the white coats are coming for me?)


***********

On a happy side note, his work (and I suppose himself as well if I'm really going to give credit where its due) is also inspiring me to write and create... and dream.. like I've not been able to in a long time. I suppose every scary thing has its silver lining.

Just knowing that a man like that exists.. well.. its enough for me.. for now. (you can also read this as me being too chicken to actively pursue things. bauk, bauck begauk)

Honesty And There's Honesty

I have to thank "True Heart in Jersey" for today's post. While not directly her fault, she did recommend the site on which I found this lovely profile. She'd claimed that the men on these sites in her area were undesirable, but I think this one might take the cake.

I was searching through one of her posted pet sites and saw a profile of a decent looking male advertising that he liked BBWs. My curiosity got the better of me and so I checked out his profile.

First he admits that he just got out of a bad relationship with a BBW and is now looking for a different partner.

Woo Hooo... Damaged and honest about it.. sign me up!

Now I do have to give him some credit for staying with this person for 3 yrs despite no sexual contact for 1.5 yrs right? Yes? No? (Are you scared yet?)

He just moved here and is staying with family where he feels "safe" (seriously a direct quote).

What the hell did she do to him? Just how damaged is he if he had to move in with family to feel safe?

He continues that he's looking for a woman who wants a partner that isn't afraid of work. (Come on.. what woman doesn't love a working man? Or is he wanting a woman that isn't afraid of work?)... and that she would like for him to move in with her to get to know each other on a first hand basis.

WOOOOOOOAH DAWGIES... Big Red Flashing Warning Signs.

But sadly... I'm not done.. nor is he..

He continues to state that he wants to get away from his family (wait, I thought he was safe there?) and out on his own, but there are no jobs in his area.

He ends with "Interested? My tongue is pierced and I love to give oral as well as receive."

Wow.. There is some honesty. Gotta give him some points for that. He also gets extra bonus points for the flashing neon red warning signs.

If only ruling out unsuitables was always this painlessly easy. Sheesh.