Saturday, February 6, 2010

Awesome Times Awesome Squared

My night last night.. 

I was running late to a birthday party that I didn't want to go to. I just wanted a nice quiet night at home, but its an obligation that I'd never live down if I didn't at least show.

I was trying to finish up some tasks when my friend Jack surprised me with his hidden talents at song writing... so I went to take a listen, hit play.

*ring* *ring* My phone is having one of those rare seizures indicative of someone trying to reach me by voice. A very rare thing.

I see the caller ID, smile, and panic.  I really didn't remember giving this guy my number though I've had his through my own "stalking" efforts; its a happy surprise.

I answer quickly trying to make sure I answer before it goes to voicemail, while trying to turn off the blasting music from the computer. Trying to do too many things at once and being late.. and the surprise of the phone call.. I was a bundle of nerves.

I think I said "Hi". I honestly can't recall. Then he asks me for clarification on something private (something very few people here know.. a safety precaution) that I really really don't recall telling him.  Not that I minded that he knew, but my mind instantly flew to... "OMG who else knows?" and "Shit, I thought I was more careful". Some serious panic.

He assures me that I told him, and as I calm down I realize that I must have when I gave him my number. I vaguely.. with his memory jogging.. remember texting him from my phone on NYE. He never replied. (He claims a real phone call despite weeks later should make up for it.)  As I calm down, I start laughing. Seriously, I'm laughing hysterically.. 

He asks: "What's so funny?"

Me: "To explain that would take more words than I have. I'm not laughing at you, but ... at this.. situation"

He says: "Ah.. laughing with me.."

Sure sure.. lets just say I was laughing with you.  But since I was actually laughing at myself and my own hysterical insanity... well.. I'm thinking we were both laughing at me. Which is fine.. I was totally being laugh worthy.

I then blather on about why I have this deep seated loathing for football, which he listens to and somehow isn't offended.

We talk, and I attempt to sound coherent. I think I succeeded. Though I got off the phone feeling like a blathering idiot, a happy blathering idiot but a blathering idiot nonetheless.

I finish up my work, and head to the shower to get ready. My phone dings. Ooo a text message.

It's Mac.

YAY!!! 

Though he tells me he's sick and miserable (poor guy), and in need of a nursemaid.

Normally, the me before I got married, would have immediately suggested that I come over to nurse him. I'd have ran to him and given up all other plans for the day in order to make him well. 

I instead skirted the issue politely and flirtatiously, though later when I found out just how sick he was and that he was continuing to work as well.. I told him that someone needed to tie him to the bed and force feed him soup.

He of course was up for the "tying to the bed" part. Obviously not that sick. :)

We chatted a little more, before I told him I had to go shower and get ready.

I get ready.. slowly. I mean this night has gone so well so far.. it can't possibly improve. It can only get worse. Right? 

Plus its still cold in Austin. Its warm in my apt. You do the math.

But I drag myself out of the apt, and downtown.

A mutual friend of ours has arranged a fantastic "happy hour" special for us at a local bar/restaurant with a band to boot. No cover, and pretty much $1 drinks of whatever you want. My vodka was $2. Normally its $6 anywhere I go. YEAH!!

So I hang out and chat. Say hi to the Birthday girl and boy.. and do my rounds. I see Don's there, but last time I saw him he had a girlfriend and was kinda a dud. I really didn't feel like talking to him, and he was hanging with some cute girls I didn't know.. so I just walked the other direction.

Don however ran over to say Hi to me. Put his arm around me and asked how I'd been.  We chatted for a while.. catching up on our lives.. the ex-gf was not mentioned.. but as chatty and friendly as he was.. it was obvious he was single again.

He soon flitted off again mingling he said. He spent most of the rest of the night with thinner hotter girls. Whatever Don. I'm no one's backup plan.

The party however is outside without heaters of any kind. Seriously? What crack was the owner of that bar on?

So I called it a night after warming up inside and meeting a "native Austinite". The guy was completely humorless and looked at me like I was uncouth and rude no matter what I said.  He however was slurring like a lush. In his defense, I should mention that I was totally making fun of his alcohol tongue. Come on.. it was funny. An obviously slurring 35+ yr. old well-dressed man trying to pick up a couple chicks.

Anyway, so I call it a night and decide to give in to my insane craving for Katz French Dip sandwich. Seriously they're orgasmic.  

I almost get the few blocks down the road to Katz, and my best friend calls to chat. We chat a bit and then I go eat with promises to call her back when I'm done.

No one to go with me, I enter on my own, sit alone at a table, and drool til my sandwich comes and then devour it. I thought it funny that none of that felt weird to me. It was my first time eating out.. eating out.. alone.

While I'm eating, Fred starts to text me. Fred has a habit of texting me when he's drunk or been drinking. Usually the messages are funny in a "I want you" kind of way. He lives about 3 hours away, and has never came to Austin while I've been here. So I find it a little hard sometimes to take him seriously, but the messages are flattering.. and if he was closer he might make a good sex buddy. (He severely doesn't want kids, so anything more than that is out of the question)

So.. flattered (he always says how sexy I am).. and laughing my ass off (he always says how sexy I am).. I call my best friend back and talk on my way home, and a good 2 hours after I get home.  We like to chat, and we crack each other up. The last hour of it was pretty much just solid laughter.  

The last key phrase for a laughter track from us: "I don't really judge, but man that shit is fucked up!" (yeah most people don't get our humor either, its ok.)

It honestly was a fan-freaking-tastic evening. I couldn't have planned it better. Awesome times Awesome squared.

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