Friday, May 14, 2010

Follow Friday Drama: Count Me Out

I'm a bad girl. I've been scolded. I've been unfollowed. I've been blocked and unblocked and reblocked again. In this activity, I have been told with whom I can and cannot be friends or suffer the same treatment.

For those of you not "in the know", there is a major rift dividing the Dating Blogger world.  There are two people who do not get along (ok more than two, but there are essentially two sides) and for the purpose of this post.. I'll call them Blogger A, and Blogger B.

They both have their reasons of why they are fighting, and each feels fully justified in their stances and behaviors.

Blogger A vehemently disagreed with Blogger B's initial posts and attitude, and honestly Blogger A's initial position was not unfounded.  Blogger A then decided that Blogger B needed correcting.

Blogger B has posted some great posts and some "OMG you have to be posting this just for the controversy" posts.  Blogger B's initial posts and attitude even had myself thinking that Blogger B needed some education.  But over time Blogger B has grown to be an excellent dating blogger.

However, Blogger A's initial "attack" on Blogger B, caused Blogger B to be hurt and wounded. And the fight escalated.

Both Bloggers have their benefits and their detriments. Both at one time or another, I've considered to be friends of mine.

Blogger A is not an easily likable person. Blogger A is often negative and judgmental in their approach to people and situations.  This makes for good reading, and good discussion. Blogger A has a great following of dedicated readers who love that no-bullshit approach. It's actually one of the things that first drew me to Blogger A's blog.  Plus the fact that Blogger A allows me to disagree without fear of retribution.

Blogger B is a very nice person and has grown to blog very nicely. Blogger B has a great perspective on dating and life, and their posts are always insightful. Blogger B has grown a good following based in their fresh perspective and flirty ways. Blogger B truely has a very sweet-heart personality once you get to know them.

I sort of understand Blogger A's perspective on Blogger B, but yes I do think that an apology from Blogger A is needed.  But both sides have spread rumors and bad talked each other. No one is an angel here.

I also do not like being forced to choose a side. I'm no longer in HS. I no longer feel the need to deal with this.

I've known Blogger A almost since my "birth" here. Blogger A's been nothing but nice to me. Blogger A has never lashed out at me for being friends with Blogger B. Blogger A did mention it once, but has not (to my knowledge) held it against me. 

Blogger B and I are recent friends. We started rocky as I disagreed with Blogger B's initial attitude and perspective. I got blocked and wasn't told why. Then Blogger B's attitude changed and I started liking what Blogger B was saying and posting. Through strange round about ways, Blogger B deemed me safe to talk to and unblocked me. The blocking it turned out had to do with my friendship with Blogger A.

Then today, I posted some #FF tweets. Including both of them in the same tweet.

I'm told I lost followers. Blogger B has unfollowed me again. (and to tell you the truth, it hurts every time someone blocks me. it shouldn't, but it does.)

I am a peacemaker. I don't like to be in the middle of fights, and will do my best to resolve the situation. I've tried, but it is no use.

So I'm done. I don't do this politics crap.. I never have. 

If you want to be my friend.. be my friend. I won't be toyed with, or given ultimatums. I won't let you dictate who I can and cannot associate with.  If you don't like my friends, thats fine.. not everyone likes everyone.. I won't require you to like them. I also won't require you to drop a friend that happens to be an enemy of mine. (Hell I hung out with friends of Hock's last night without a problem)

I either trust you as a friend or I don't.  You either trust me as a friend or you don't.

But I tell you both this.. Blogger A and Blogger B.. until you two can live as friends, I will not RT or Mention either of you on Twitter. I will not be publicly friends with either of you, as your fighting has now really hurt me.

Its days like today, that I am ashamed to be among the "Dating Bloggers".


  1. Heya. So I read this post and you've made some well thought and pointed commentary. No less than I expect from you, as always.

    I did want to put my voice out there, since I'm a supporter of this Unfollow Friday madness.

    I understand where you are coming from on this. I support this even though I have not been personally attacked. I don't expect that I'd be able to change your mind on this nor is that my goal.

    Simply put, we all have a right to follow and promote the message of those who we find intriguing and compelling. That's a no brainer right? =) This community is important to me. You were one of my earliest supporters and commenters and you still support me, even though I'm kind of a turd! Hehe.

    The thought that there are those out there that do bash their peers in front of an audience of thousands is not acceptable to me. That it could happen to me or others I respect is also unnerving to me, which is why I took the stand I took. The community is that important to me. Again, I can't tell you what you should do, I can only inform on why I do what I do; I feel it is the right thing to do.

    Just know that I have an immense respect for you and your right to do as you see fit.

  2. Alex,

    Ya know I luv ya, and I do respect your opinions and viewpoints..

    However, blindsiding people with this and not giving them a choice.. is not good PR or good friendship.

    The way this is being handled is not good. Not good at all.

  3. Maruska, I am so sorry that you are feeling so hurt and blindsided by this. I obviously read your post and also saw the comment that you left on Jeni's blog and I want to sincerely apologize. It was NEVER the intention for this to be perceived as a petty blogging war. It is a response, by a community, to what was deemed to be malicious and unacceptable behaviour on the part of a certain blogger.

    Perhaps our approach was not the best, but it is what it is. I also have to give kudos to Alex who, although never personally attacked/ maligned, did make a stand (but that's why we love him right?).

    I used to read and RT said blogger, often in fact, and I respected her as a voice in the community. However, for various reasons, that has changed.

    Regardless, you do what you feel is right. And none of this changes the fact that I respect and admire you as a writer and a blogger, and will continue to do so.