Nearly Perfect

I just got back from a lovely day. I wasn't sure it was going to be a lovely day when it started, but luckily God laughs at my plans.




I woke this morning after a long struggle to get some kind of sleep so I could go out with some friends today. I managed to get a whole 4 hours, and upon waking drank about a liter of Passover Coke for the caffiene to actually move.



Sometime after that, things started to look up. I had some energy, and put it to good use cleaning my kitchen while making a quick lunch, then showering, and combing my closet for outfits that were "sexy" without actually looking like I tried to be sexy. I was going to a bar to watch sports with friends. Actually dressing sexy would be overdoing it, but I figured if any of them invited someone single and hot, I should at least look good.



In the end, I looked meh. Oh well. At least I was having a decent hair day.



So I get there. And.. there's a possibly single adonis there. I didn't ask him if he was single.. I'm merely making assumptions on the lack of ring.



The guy was hot. Not the type I normally go for.. but I'll make exceptions. His hair was a sandy-red-blonde, and he had the air of a real manly man. You could clearly tell that he had no trouble growing a full beard if he wanted, though he was clean shaven. His body was athletically built, like a soccer player. He wore a simple t-shirt and cargo shorts, and his outfit plus persona made me think of Matthew McConaughey. He seemed like a good guy, and even made decent conversation.



But what really caught my eye, and had me ... erm.. staring at him like he was a dish of ice cream.. were two things.



First, he had a fantastic way of smiling. It was like he'd reinvented it. His entire face smiled. Lips. Eyes. Cheeks. I think even his forehead smiled. It was impossible to see him smile without wishing you could be that happy. I partly watched just to see him do it again.



But mostly I watched his eyes. His eyes shone. Glimmered really. They weren't a remarkable color. Simple hazel-green, but they looked fantastic on him. They were mesmerizing.



Honestly, thinking back on it now.. there wasn't much that was obviously remarkable about him. His hair was ordinary colored. His skin was ordinary "irish" white boy (the white with some freckles). His eyes were ordinary colored. He was ordinarily fit. He was ordinarily dressed.



But I promise you... the whole effect of him was nothing short of smoking hot. (I say this as a girl who normally hates white boys with freckles.)



Mmmm eye candy in person while watching eye candy run about a field on TV. The day got super better instantly.



Then I ordered a beer. They had a beer I've never tried before.. Widmer? On tap. In an icy cold mug the size of my head. For.. $7. And it was good beer (not Bud Light or Coors Light or normal american mainstream piss water - sorry if anyone is offended, have I mentioned I'm a beer snob?) So anyway my day got awesome quickly.



Then since I was right near my favorite shopping strip, I went shopping. I came out with a shirt and skirt that I thought was going to put me back $60, however when it was rang up it came out as $25. ROCK ON!



So super awesome day.. I drive home, because I'm supposed to actually be working on a business plan today for a client meeting in two days. I've done nothing with the business plan, and on my way home realize that tomorrow is nearly booked solid. So I start to panic that I'm not going to get it done.



I get home. Check my email. My client emails me "Can we postpone our meeting until later in the week? I got called out of town this weekend."



Seriously.. it couldn't have gone any better.



(ok.. it could have.. Mr HotBod could have asked for my number or asked me out this evening for a sexy romp.. Cuz I need one. I do... but other than that.. Perfect.)

Twitter Me This

So I go out Friday night. Its dreary. Its been raining. So I put off going out.

But I RSVP'd yes.. Plus I can help spread the word about sites where I'm writing, and possibly network for jobs maybe. And it was at the Gingerman (hello self, your favorite bar) So I should go right?

I drag myself out. I dressed nicely.. well nicely for the Gingerman, but comfy for me. I did my hair and my makeup. When I last checked in the mirror before leaving I looked GOOD.

I walk out. Its still raining. By the time I get to my car, even with the umbrella, my hair is now laying flat and frizzy. Damn it. But my face still looks ok.

By the time I actually get to the bar, my makeup is pretty much invisible with the exception of a little mascara and eyeliner. Great!

Being as I was (on my own) meeting with a bunch of people from Twitter that I've never met before let alone only twittered with a couple of them ever, even though I've been to the Gingerman tons of times, my social anxiety was in full swing. Entering the "party" looking worse than I did before I showered was not helping at all.

Luckily the Partymeister and crew were there to help give me a life-raft. I ran into them shortly after entering the bar when Pete yelled "Hey!!!" loudly as I walked by. I said my "Hi's" and went to find the Twitter ensemble.

2 hours late and the party was packed. Seriously packed like front of the stage at a rock concert. It could have easily been a moshpit. If I was actually prone to panic attacks, I'd have had one just trying to get through the crowd.

I instead went back to the Partymeister's crew and had a beer. Chatted a bit. Relaxed. However, when Partymeister's pal 'Chesthair Man' decided to start pulling out his chest hair to prove to me that he didn't need to be drunk to do it.. I decided to give the Twitterers another go.

I met a really nice guy with a huge dog. HUGE dog. I believe it was a short-haired St. Bernard. It made my 43lbs possible Belgian Shepherd look like a lapdog. The dog was sequestered under the coffee table, and I totally envied the dog. I really wanted to just be under there with it.

But I threw a smile on my face, and tried to make my rounds. It was still massively crowded and moving around was hazardous, so I tried to stay on the edge of the group. Still too crowded.

So I went back to Partymeister's table and had another beer. This time Chris was there. Unfortunately, he was also there with this very sexy "neighbor-friend" (his term) and completely absorbed by her. Cute & adorable, but not very entertaining for me. (Yes it is all about me.) So I talked a while with Pete as Chesthair Man went home, and Partymeister was distracted with some cute girls.

Finished my beer, then attempted the Twitterers again. I then finally found LaniAR whom I'd found out about the Twitter party through, and was the hostess. She introduced me to a couple people and we hit it off.

I actually met several really cool girls through the party which is extremely strange for me, but hey.. its a good thing. I also met a couple guys. One was extremely HOT, but sadly uber-married. Another may grow on me.. we'll see.

All in all, it was a good time. Tiring. Stressful. Insane. But a good time.

Oh and I now have a massive amount of Twitter-followers. Seriously though Twitterers.. I'm not THAT interesting. I promise. But for you, I'll try. :)

Bad Social = Antisocial

I still don't think I'm quite over last Friday's debacle, as I really am in an antisocial funk right now.

Saturday, I forced myself to go out. Seriously. So I went to this lovely beer festival, and drank some beer. Then I decided to torture my dog.

Actually, I went to the festival with the excuse that I would try it out with my dog. I grew up with dogs that did nothing but stay at home, hunt rodents, bark at neighbors, and wait for us to come home and feed them. So when I finally got a house, I got a dog and did the same thing.

Well now that I don't have a house for the dog to attend, I feel quite a bit guilty for the completely boring life the dog is now leading. She wants to be with me 24/7 anyway, so I thought I'd work on trying to socialize her.

I went to the festival late, and checked it out before I brought my dog. It was pretty calm, and not too many other dogs around.. so I thought I'd give it a try. She did great other than trying to crawl under the tables to get away and hide from everyone.

She also helped me get hit on by way too drunken strangers. Cute drunken strangers, but still drunken. So don't discount your dog as a way to meet men.

Since she was obviously traumatized by way too many people... She'd been looking for an exit since we'd arrived. We called it an early night.

So Sunday I stayed in and was so anti-social that I didn't even get on the internet or answer my phone. Monday I stayed in. Tuesday I stayed in. I of course got quite a bit of work done on cleaning the apt. Laundry done. To-Do lists made.

I would have also stayed in on Wednesday, but I had some "prizes" to claim and went to a "Timeshare" sales schtick.

New Social Rules:

1. When feeling antisocial, do not attend any kind of sales related thing.

2. When #1 fails, be honest and tell sales person to "F-OFF"

3. No prizes are worth the trauma of a bad sales pitch.

I am seriously traumatized. The "timeshare" was on a "resort" out in timbucktu Texas. So getting there was lots of driving and not pretty scenery, but views of rundown farms, forgotten shacks, and places that time (& its employees) had forgot. Everything around this "resort" was in dire need of a paint job if not an exterminator as well.

The "resort" was the equivalent of my apt complex if you added a lake, skiball, a dive mexican restaurant, and a cheesy giftshop. No spa treatments, masseuse or even a hair salon on site.

The lady spent nearly an hour asking me what she called "rhetorical" questions that she expected me to answer. I don't think we agreed on the definition of "rhetorical". The entire schpeil was an insult to my intelligence, and so much so that I interrupted her talking and told her to (and seriously I quote) "get to the damn point".

I cannot seem to put adequately into words just how mentally insulting her sales pitch was. I'm trying, but the words just do not express it adequately.

I spent 2 hours of my life that I'll never get back with an uncultured unintelligent woman who has never left Texas except to go to Mexico once or twice trying to sell me a vacation package. Her sales skills were aimed at people who .. like her.. have never seen anywhere but Texas and don't want to see anywhere but Texas, Branson, and outback Georgia. (I'm much more of a downtown NYC or Chicago, Tahoe, San Fransico, London, Paris, Venice, Prague.. kind of person.)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh the migraine I had when I left there. I did however get a couple "free" trips out of it, but it was so not worth it.

Evie (thank god) went with me. She tells me that not all timeshare presentations are this excruciatingly painful. She said that that "resort" was where timeshare salespeople went to die. But I tell you this now.. I will not be going to another timeshare place in Texas for a very very fucking very very long freaking time.

I drowned my aching head with a beer when I got home, and I really really don't want to leave my house ever again.

Unfortunately I will. Tonight is another "Flirting" group meeting. So off to the showers I go to make myself pretty.

What A Night!

Last night I had a great night. My workaholic FB and I finally managed to get together, and I still managed to make it to my "Better Flirting" group.

I joined the "Better Flirting" group, not that I really needed tips on how to flirt, because I figured it couldn't hurt and I might meet some different single men.

I walked in 45 minutes late, (Hey I was late but I made it damn it) and immediately found myself in conversation with an extremely attractive man. He started out the conversation with:

"I'm so glad you showed up." He said this with a tone of "You just saved me from them."

Since I'd just arrived, I looked around to see what he meant. Half the women were about 10-20 yrs older than me at least, and the others I wasn't sure about. The men however were all much older than him, the youngest being roughly my age if I'm being kind. Only one of the rest of the men would I have even bothered to give a second of my time.

I replied, "What? You don't like older men?"

We laughed. He filled me in on what I'd missed, and clarified that the rest of the room were wine drinkers in a tone which said snooty. I told him I was very versatile with alcohol as I like a little wine, a little beer, and a little vodka. So we began talking about his beer, and how much I loathe NXNW's beers and which beers I do like and where to go in town to get the best beers. (Ever want to get me plowed? Take me to the Gingerman and tell me the tabs on you.)

We simply put hit it off immediately. Out of a self-imposed duty and encouragement from others in the group that this what was supposed to be done at this time anyway, I forced myself to go mingle and meet everyone.

I ended up getting trapped in a conversation with a 50+ yr old man with braces and possibly a retainer. I have no idea what we talked about, because well thats how much I was enjoying the conversation. I had a hot guy who wanted to talk to me damn it. Luckily I remembered that I'd come late, and so used the excuse that I didn't have much time to talk to any ONE person and thus must "flitter" on. Phew!

I made it back to Mr. Hot just before the organizer decided it was time for us to sit around the tables and talk as a group, which meant that I got to sit next to Mr. Hot. Yeah baby!

Unfortunately the organizer sat on my other side and to anyone with half a brain, hit on me while doing his speech about the group. It was that type of hitting on you where you can take it as platonic flirting or you can take him seriously.. and I had no idea how to take him.. but I can keep up with the best.. and I did much to his dismay. So for most of the organizer's speech I didn't even get to see Mr. Hot and ended up flirting with the attractive but too old for me organizer right in front of him. Yay!

So I was pretty sure that while I was showing my excellent flirting skills, wit, and intellect, I was also screwing up with Mr. Hot.

Then the organizer explained the next exercise. We were to find a person that we were attracted to, sit facing each other with our knees touching and look into each others eyes for 2 one minute sessions. It was to help us get used to eye contact.

As soon as he'd said the exercise, I was on pins and needles. On one hand I was praying "Organizer, please do not choose me" on the other hand I was praying "OMG, what if Mr Hot chooses someone else and I'm stuck with Mr Too Old for Braces?"

I didn't have to wait long. I looked at Mr Hot. He looked at me.

"You wanna?"

I couldn't turn my chair fast enough. I was extremely nervous about just how into this he wanted to get, and if he really wanted to get our knees touching, but as soon as our chairs were facing each other, he had his knees touching mine and we were looking into each other eyes.

And we talked. And gazed. And talked. Our knees constantly touching. At one point I laughed and touched his knee.. At one point he laughed and touched mine. About 15 minutes later, the organizer interrupted us. Bastard.

And the organizer talked. And talked. And talked. But neither of us moved our chairs. At one point, one of our knees stopped touching. I think I moved slightly to see the organizer. Suddenly his knee was there touching mine again.

I was also cold, and since I wasn't getting heated anymore by the eye contact, I started to really feel the chill. We were outside on a deck, and I freeze easy. Mr. Hot asked if I was cold as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. So I touched my ice cold fingers to his arm, and said I was freezing.

"Wow, you really are cold!" He said as he took my hand in his to warm it. (Le Sigh)

Then he seemed to realize that we were ... er.. holding hands, and he let go. (Le Sad Sigh)

After that the group was essentially over, and Mr Hot had to work in the morning so he left. I should have walked out with him, but I also wasn't sure I wanted the night to end.. there was talk of going to a Vodka party next door. So we didn't get a real goodbye. (Oh and the vodka party thing fell through, so I was really kicking myself)

When I did get home, I sent him a message saying it was great to meet him. He hasn't replied yet, so we'll see.

But nevertheless, we'll always have NXNW.