The Hottest Guy Comes With Wheels

So the other night, I go to this networking meeting. Pierce was supposed to be there, but thats not entirely why I went. I do have my own life outside of the urge to stalk him.



Plus the fact that he didn't reply to my DM the other day.. he's a little bit in the doghouse. Honestly, I'd completely write him off if he wasn't so damn attentive last I saw him... and well if he wasn't so damn cute.


So anyway, I go. Pierce is not there. But I honestly only notice his abscense for about the first 5 minutes.


I enter and behind me in the entrance line is my old director and her beau. This is a networking thing for the geeky. I was a little shocked that she was there and that she'd heard about it. Weird.


Anyway, we get closer to the front of the line... there's a couple in front of me.. when a loud voice from the table says "Hey Maruska! I got ya, just fill out a nametag."


It's my favorite hot happily-married man. So I grin at him.


"Whaaa? you know who I am?" I say jokingly while I fill out my nametag.


Well a few minutes later after checking out who all is there (aka not Pierce), my old director finds me.


"Hey, how'd you do that?"


I look at her like she's grown a third eye as I try to jog my memory about what I might have just done.


"Huh?"


"At the entrance, how'd you do that?" She's looking at me as if I'm the social guru of the year.


"Oh, yeah.. I know him. No biggie. I actually know quite a few of the people here. I'm kinda geek." I admit as I am uncomfortable with her whole "omg you've got the hookup" attitude... though I was a little flattered by it. She's the Who's Who of Independant Theatre in Austin, so it was kinda funny getting on her "respect" list for networking.


"Oh wow, I didn't know. I just heard about these things." She says while looking around.


I'm looking around too, but mostly for someone to motion to me and save me from what is bound to me more uncomfortable talking.


I mention to her that I need to go say "Hi" to a few people and wish her a fun evening. Then I fled.


Of course, Pierce was a no-show the entire event. But that didn't mean I wasn't flirting around.


Actually, I wasn't so much flirting around as I was being flirted with. Made my head spin a little. See my little business venture is getting around I think.. or else it's given me some kind of pheromones to attract men.


There was one gentleman I've met like once before. Maybe twice, but pretty sure just once. I honestly don't know his name. He's hot. He's sweet. But not normally what I go for.. so not really on my radar.


But evidently I am on his. Within minutes of him seeing me, he came over and said hello. He then entrapped me into a conversation (it wasn't torturous, pleasant really, but he obviously was not letting me just flit on by). When he was interupted by a friend of his, I turned away to see who else was interesting to talk to..


Thats when I met the hottest guy.


Seriously when I tell you this guy is hot.. I mean hot... but probably not in the way most of you are thinking.


He was well kept. Great hair. Very hot face. Hot upper body. Looked like a relaxed GQ kinda guy. But what made him hot was his communication skills. The guy could talk to you and make you feel like the only woman in the room. He also listened like every word you said was gold. Two sentences in and I already wanted to nasty things to him. Sizzling.


Weirder still.. he's in a wheelchair. Something that normally I'd see, and check off my list of viable. But honestly, it wasn't really noticable. In a crowd of 50 people all standing, where his face had to be butt-high at best, I didn't really notice his chair. I simply saw a hot man. That's how smoking hot this guy is.


There are things more important than superficiality.


By the way, I wasn't the only girl swooning over this guy. He and I got interupted, and I left to find out if my other friends had shown up. Sure enough they had, so I did some chatting. In between conversations though, I'd go and see if hot guy was available for chatting.


He never was. Every time I went to see if he was free, he was fully surrounded by hot women. Seriously surrounded.


*le sigh*

I finished the evening having made a couple new friends, and with a few more hours of flirting under my belt.

... And with a little sadness that I didn't get to spend more time with the hot man.

Sail Away With Me... Not

So I went and hung out with some friends last weekend. They were all gathering at a place I think of as my "Cheers", despite that I don't make it down there every day and don't know most of the staff. I just feel homey when I'm there.

The Gingerman

I honestly really needed a "Gingerman" trip anyway. It'd been a while since I'd been there, and the need for beer was strong. If the Gingerman was closer to me, I might actually have a chance of becoming that alcoholic that I keep trying and failing to be. Though I even doubt that one as I've a fridge with cold beer and several bottles of hard liquor that I'm always forgetting to drink. I even have my favorite vodka (Armadale) sitting right beside my computer, and like eating.. I forget to drink it. 

It's actually pretty amazing that I remember to post blog posts or even manage to get through writing a blog post. Yes, my attention span is that f'd up. Ooooo pretty...

Oh yes.. back to the Gingerman..

I arrive. Late. As usual. But not so late to miss the entire party, just enough that I'm a drink or two behind everyone else. A true alcoholic would have arrived early to drink more.. damn it.. 

Anyway, my friends see me and act like I'm some sort of mirage. Have I mentioned that I've not seen most of them in months? It takes them a minute but.. 

I got flack.

"Where have you been? Don't tell me you have friends other than us!" Don lectured me jokingly as he came over to give me a big hug.

He was then followed by a couple girls that I pretend to be friends with, but in reality barely know. They're great girls and a lot of fun .. at least while at the bar.. but I just don't see us clicking without a beer in hand and mutual male friends to distract us. Let alone a girls-night. Call me paranoid, but I honestly think if we went to a bar just us girls to hang out.. I'd have blade marks all over my back.

But I made nice, and acted all happy to see them. It was good to see familiar faces and have people that were interested in me.. so it wasn't an entire act I guess. They wanted to catch up on everything I've been doing lately... which honestly is nothing of any interest anyone. 

Would you like to know about my experiment with maple syrup vs brown sugar syrup on pancakes?  Or maybe all the interesting job offers I'm getting for things that either will put me in jail or make me homicidal so I end up in jail?

So I answered their questions to the best of ability, and they drifted off to other people.  

Don however stuck around. He wanted more details and wasn't going to give up until I told him everything.  So I did. About me being sick and not wanting to socialize, about the job hunt which is going miserably, and about anything else that came to mind.

Then I saw Karl. Karl is an older gentleman. He's normally quiet, polite, somewhat shy, a little aloof but social, and always in the best manners (reserved).  So what happened made my head spin a little.

I see Karl talking to a very hot man whom I've never seen before. I catch Karl out of the corner of my eye pointing in my direction and commenting to the guy next to him.

"I saw that!" I exclaim to Karl pretending to be offended/suspicious, then turn to his friend. "What is he selling you on now? Don't trust a word of it!" I say as I smile widely.

Karl completely denies pointing as a child does who got caught eating chocolate and denies it with chocolate all over his face.

I then start to walk away to say hi to a few other people, when Karl grabs my arm.

"You can't leave."

"Whaa?"

"You can't leave. You have to stay here."

This is unlike Karl. Most times Karl just lets me flitter wherever I want. Never has he ever tried to entangle me in a conversation.

So I figured he had something to say to me. 

Nope. He just wanted me to stand there next to him as he talked with the hot guy.

I of course had other plans. The guy was hot and all, but a little shorter than I like, and I'm not really that into dating right now.  So I wanted to say hi to my friends before they left.

I started to leave again..

And again Karl stopped me. It was then I realized that Karl was drunk. I'd never seen Karl drunk.. but he was.  And it was funny.

He was joking with me.. in annoying ways.. that make me laugh. His antics were also making the hot guy laugh.. though he was in fairness laughing at me and my inability to get away politely.

Finally Karl let me escape, and I went to say Hi to more of my friends.  I also learned that I do not post on Facebook very much, and that people would have been concerned that I'd died had I completely stopped posting on Facebook. Evidently, my weekly posts on Facebook have saved me from being the subject of a 911 call.

Obviously, I need to go out more often.

So I go get more beer and flirt with Mr Hot Bartender (seriously wanna try that on for size).

It was hot outside, cool inside, and everyone was standing in the middle between the outside and inside which was part hot, and part lukewarm. I'd already said my hellos, and tired of being hot, I sat myself and my cold beer down on a couch nearby where there was no one sitting.

Ah.. peace, quiet, cool drink and air conditioning...

Then the hot guy came to sit across from me to talk.

It was idle chitchat to start. How long have I know these friends.. how often do we all hang out.. etc and so on.

Then he started to tell me about himself.  About his condo downtown, and his other house in Boston.

Is it just me, or? ... when a guy says that he has two residences and claims to be single... does anyone else just tune out?

It seems to be a theme with me lately. Meeting men who obviously want me to think or know they have money.  

For me, all I need to know is that you're financially stable. If you're trying to tell me you've make $300k a year, you've obviously misjudged my priorities.  However if you've got big bucks, and I know it without you telling me, you're generous without flaunting it.. I might start stalking you. Its all about the character baby.

He was a nice guy, and despite his double houses .. I might have given him a chance.. but he also really really likes boating and sailing.

Me + Water (with fish in it) is a non-starter. Not going to happen. Unless your boat is the size of a small island, don't be trying to picture us "sailing away" any day soon.

Then people saw us sitting down and talking. Don, in his own flirting enthusiastic way, plopped down next to me in a way that can only be described accurately as an ex-boyfriend move.. and the hot guy's eyes reacted as if "Oh you have a boyfriend"... which made me laugh. Had I not already ruled Hot guy out as a potential date, I might have been a little upset with Don.  As it was I joked around with Don, and introduced him to the hot guy.  Then one by one everyone joined the couches and conversations.

Hot guy stayed and talked with everyone for awhile. Don then ran off to another side of the bar.  Then Hot guy saw Don flirting outrageously with one of our mutual friends, and he commented.  I replied thats just Don he's kinda the group flirt or party person.  His eyes then changed in understanding again, realizing that Don and I weren't dating. (Silly men)

Hot guy shortly after got up for another beer. Never to be seen again.

Oh well.

Awesome Times Awesome Squared

My night last night.. 

I was running late to a birthday party that I didn't want to go to. I just wanted a nice quiet night at home, but its an obligation that I'd never live down if I didn't at least show.

I was trying to finish up some tasks when my friend Jack surprised me with his hidden talents at song writing... so I went to take a listen, hit play.

*ring* *ring* My phone is having one of those rare seizures indicative of someone trying to reach me by voice. A very rare thing.

I see the caller ID, smile, and panic.  I really didn't remember giving this guy my number though I've had his through my own "stalking" efforts; its a happy surprise.

I answer quickly trying to make sure I answer before it goes to voicemail, while trying to turn off the blasting music from the computer. Trying to do too many things at once and being late.. and the surprise of the phone call.. I was a bundle of nerves.

I think I said "Hi". I honestly can't recall. Then he asks me for clarification on something private (something very few people here know.. a safety precaution) that I really really don't recall telling him.  Not that I minded that he knew, but my mind instantly flew to... "OMG who else knows?" and "Shit, I thought I was more careful". Some serious panic.

He assures me that I told him, and as I calm down I realize that I must have when I gave him my number. I vaguely.. with his memory jogging.. remember texting him from my phone on NYE. He never replied. (He claims a real phone call despite weeks later should make up for it.)  As I calm down, I start laughing. Seriously, I'm laughing hysterically.. 

He asks: "What's so funny?"

Me: "To explain that would take more words than I have. I'm not laughing at you, but ... at this.. situation"

He says: "Ah.. laughing with me.."

Sure sure.. lets just say I was laughing with you.  But since I was actually laughing at myself and my own hysterical insanity... well.. I'm thinking we were both laughing at me. Which is fine.. I was totally being laugh worthy.

I then blather on about why I have this deep seated loathing for football, which he listens to and somehow isn't offended.

We talk, and I attempt to sound coherent. I think I succeeded. Though I got off the phone feeling like a blathering idiot, a happy blathering idiot but a blathering idiot nonetheless.

I finish up my work, and head to the shower to get ready. My phone dings. Ooo a text message.

It's Mac.

YAY!!! 

Though he tells me he's sick and miserable (poor guy), and in need of a nursemaid.

Normally, the me before I got married, would have immediately suggested that I come over to nurse him. I'd have ran to him and given up all other plans for the day in order to make him well. 

I instead skirted the issue politely and flirtatiously, though later when I found out just how sick he was and that he was continuing to work as well.. I told him that someone needed to tie him to the bed and force feed him soup.

He of course was up for the "tying to the bed" part. Obviously not that sick. :)

We chatted a little more, before I told him I had to go shower and get ready.

I get ready.. slowly. I mean this night has gone so well so far.. it can't possibly improve. It can only get worse. Right? 

Plus its still cold in Austin. Its warm in my apt. You do the math.

But I drag myself out of the apt, and downtown.

A mutual friend of ours has arranged a fantastic "happy hour" special for us at a local bar/restaurant with a band to boot. No cover, and pretty much $1 drinks of whatever you want. My vodka was $2. Normally its $6 anywhere I go. YEAH!!

So I hang out and chat. Say hi to the Birthday girl and boy.. and do my rounds. I see Don's there, but last time I saw him he had a girlfriend and was kinda a dud. I really didn't feel like talking to him, and he was hanging with some cute girls I didn't know.. so I just walked the other direction.

Don however ran over to say Hi to me. Put his arm around me and asked how I'd been.  We chatted for a while.. catching up on our lives.. the ex-gf was not mentioned.. but as chatty and friendly as he was.. it was obvious he was single again.

He soon flitted off again mingling he said. He spent most of the rest of the night with thinner hotter girls. Whatever Don. I'm no one's backup plan.

The party however is outside without heaters of any kind. Seriously? What crack was the owner of that bar on?

So I called it a night after warming up inside and meeting a "native Austinite". The guy was completely humorless and looked at me like I was uncouth and rude no matter what I said.  He however was slurring like a lush. In his defense, I should mention that I was totally making fun of his alcohol tongue. Come on.. it was funny. An obviously slurring 35+ yr. old well-dressed man trying to pick up a couple chicks.

Anyway, so I call it a night and decide to give in to my insane craving for Katz French Dip sandwich. Seriously they're orgasmic.  

I almost get the few blocks down the road to Katz, and my best friend calls to chat. We chat a bit and then I go eat with promises to call her back when I'm done.

No one to go with me, I enter on my own, sit alone at a table, and drool til my sandwich comes and then devour it. I thought it funny that none of that felt weird to me. It was my first time eating out.. eating out.. alone.

While I'm eating, Fred starts to text me. Fred has a habit of texting me when he's drunk or been drinking. Usually the messages are funny in a "I want you" kind of way. He lives about 3 hours away, and has never came to Austin while I've been here. So I find it a little hard sometimes to take him seriously, but the messages are flattering.. and if he was closer he might make a good sex buddy. (He severely doesn't want kids, so anything more than that is out of the question)

So.. flattered (he always says how sexy I am).. and laughing my ass off (he always says how sexy I am).. I call my best friend back and talk on my way home, and a good 2 hours after I get home.  We like to chat, and we crack each other up. The last hour of it was pretty much just solid laughter.  

The last key phrase for a laughter track from us: "I don't really judge, but man that shit is fucked up!" (yeah most people don't get our humor either, its ok.)

It honestly was a fan-freaking-tastic evening. I couldn't have planned it better. Awesome times Awesome squared.

Better Off In Bed

I am.. Right Now.. on my way to eating an entire Amy's Organic Vegan Chocolate Cake.

I totally deserve it.

You can argue that with me all you want.. But first, let me tell you about my day.

A week ago, I decided to plan a happy hour event for tonight. I figured it'd be a good time to do something outgoing and fun.

I called around and set up the best deal at a great place with great food at great prices.  I was excited. There wasn't a whole lot of people RSVP'd to come but enough of the people I cared about that the low numbers didn't bother me in the least.

I had a laundry list of things that needed done today. Bills paid, checks cashed, groceries, errands to run.  Plus shower and look hot for tonight.

I woke up today at 1pm (3 hours later than I'd planned). Dead tired. Feeling like I was ran over by a truck. 

I check the RSVP's for the happy hour and check my email .. from bed. Then I head to the bathroom to shower and get ready and sure enough I get my period.

The first days of my period are cramps, cramps and OMG kill me now cramps.

Unfortunately it was way too late to cancel.  If I took pain meds, then I couldn't drink. A non-drinking host at a happy hour.. yeah thats a good one!  (fortunately for me my cramps weren't too bad today.. thank God)

So I'm feeling bloated like cow, and putting on my sexiest comfy dress, and head out the door just in time to make the happy hour.  I have to leave for it extra early because its raining in Austin which makes everyone drive like a grandma. (Aka I get nothing done all day) I get drenched on my way to my car.

I get to the establishment and they don't have the tables reserved like they said they would, so I make them quickly throw a few empty tables together. 

Happy Hour goes well. I'm hanging with friends, chatting, and having fun.  The only spoiler there... I'd talked to Theo (see Women Who Hate Women post) earlier that day and asked him to come so we could catch up.  Unfortunately when he came, there wasn't a seat near me but shortly the girl next to me left allowing him to scoot one chair over and sit next to me. However, his gf (same girl as in the earlier post) insisted that she take the seat next to me. Theo and I never got to say more than Hi. Bitch.

Other than that everything went splendid. I really had a great time.

Then I come home. I walk in the door and smell something foul.  Really foul. Like rotten food or rancid cabbage.

I go to let the dog out of her kennel to find that she's had a major accident in it.  Luckily she's not covered in it, but she stinks. The kennel stinks. The bed she had in it stinks (the cover of it is now in the wash on sanitize cycle). She tried to get out and wore off the fur on the top of her nose, a nice baby pink spot of hairless on her nose.

So I had to clean that up, and the poor poop-stank dog wants hugs and snuggles and forgiven.. but she stinks, and I'm not entirely sure I've got the energy to bathe her.

This is not my day. I'm eating cake and going to bed.

The Almost Perfect Guy

Last night I went out to a singles event. It was supposed to be a bunch of singles from my general vicinity and the tall-people singles, so I figured there would be some chance of a tall single man.

I get there and I cannot find the group. I walk around feeling like a complete moron because I cannot even find my friend that is supposed to meet me there. I am freaking out.

But I find them, and its all girls. Ok, I lie. Its all girls and 3 guys. None of the 3 guys are guys that I find attractive. One of them is really cute, but he's so short that my breasts are at his eye level. If we dated, I'd either have to really get used to him talking to my boobs, or help shell out money for his chiropractic sessions. The next guy is really not my type, and even though I'm sitting two feet from him he makes absolutely no attempt to even notice I'm there. And then there's the obviously foreign guy. He's looks really middle eastern, and is extremely socially awkward. I'd met him vaguely once before and he's really from a different country.

So I sit back with Chrissy and she starts asking me if I find anyone attractive. Chrissy has a bald black man fetish, so she's already scanned the room and seeing none is now more interested in being my wingwoman.

She's still trying to figure out my type. I don't really have "one" as far as physical. Sure sure there's looks that will make my head spin, my tongue hang out, and I might have to resist the urge to lock them up in my basement... but when it comes to a real "dating relationship" I'm more about what's inside. (well within a few physical limits anyway)

So she points out this guy across the room in an argyle sweater. He's cute, but not my thing. His friend though is a very sexy bald guy. Some guys can pull it off.. some can't. He can. Chrissy sees him and is interested. She then finds out by accident that the girl next to her is their co-worker.

So as the guys finish playing their billiards across the room, they make their way over to their co-worker.. and ta-da.. to us!

They're both imports from South Africa. I am SOOOO not interested, but I make small talk and have fun. Giam (the bald guy) is hilarious and fun, his friend Jack is an ass. So we all (there's like 5 of us girls) circle around Giam.

I keep trying to pull Chrissy and Giam together with conversation. You know keep him talking to her. He keeps talking to me, then goes over and talks a while with another girl next to me.

By this time I've already gotten loosened up with two vodkas, and my conversation with @MasterDater earlier in the day about small penises comes back into my head.. and..

I say a joke about the conversation to Chrissy loud enough that the girl next to me overhears.. and.. every man within three feet turns to join our conversation. Giam is all back talking to me. Literally everyone stopped all their other conversations and came running. I however laughed my ass off. (Do not mention penis out loud in a group of singles)

So we spent the next 10 minutes or so talking about penises and if you should talk about your penis. (It was a resounding NO, Never talk about your penis. Which I'm one of the advocates for silence in this case as well).

The rest of the night was basically the same conversation theme. One conversation about penis during the day set my mind into guttermode and at every innocent opportunity to turn the conversation to sex... I managed to do it. (Not in the "I need laid so I'm talking about sex" but more of a funny yet matter of fact kind of way.. It just steered there of its own accord where 3 minutes later someone would ask "How in the world did we get started talking about sex?" and it would be traced back to some comment that I made. I should not talk sexual stuff before going out.

Anyway, Giam went off to play some more pool, and was chatting with Chrissy. Chrissy and I were about to leave to go to the part of the bar where the lamest band alive was playing because Chrissy wanted to dance, then Giam and Chrissy start talking religion.

Chrissy is very alternative faith. Very into meditation, new age, law of attraction.

Giam states that he's Christian and going to seminary school soon, and truly believes that no one has a right to push their religion on anyone else. *drool* To Chrissy, he might as well have said he was an axe-murderer, however my ears perk up and suddenly Giam looks 30 times hotter. We talk a bit about it, and then Chrissy & I head to a different room for the band.

Chrissy wants to dance, so I appease her and stay with the band even though my every thought by now is about Giam. I'm completely preoccupied. Giam does not look like a seminary guy. He doesn't act like he's uber-religious. He honestly looks like a cleaned up biker dude. So my head is trying to wrap my mind around a good looking rebel-looking guy at a bar, with fantastic social skills, drinking, having fun, playing pool.. going to seminary.

Chrissy makes a bathroom trip while I hold down the fort (aka coats and drinks, and open dance floor) and comes back.

"You remember Jack? He's gaming all over these girls in the other room."

She's laughing and I'm laughing. It took a "Hi" from Jack and thats all I needed to know that he's a douchebag/prick. I'm sure he's a nice guy as a friend, but hell would freeze over before I attempted to date him. Plus he was kind of a jerk to us earlier.. so..

"He is? OMG lets go ruin his game. Come on.. it'll be fun."

Chrissy is all for it. I'm partly going to ruin Jack's game, but mostly because I'm hoping that Giam will be around and I want to get away from the band.

We barely get over to Jack's area, and Giam is there. He sees us and looks happy. He completely stops talking to whomever he's talking to, and comes over to us.

"Hey, I thought you guys left."

We explained that we'd been to see the band, and that they blow big monkey chunks. (I may have added the monkey chunks. If you still like 80's hair bands, not remixes or redos of it, but the real stuff and you like to go see 80's hair band cover bands.. Please do not let me know or invite me. Thanks.)

We sat down at a nearby table, and I started asking Giam about seminary. Chrissy asked as well.

If there ever were perfect answers to "Why seminary" and "What do you believe" and "Ethics"... Giam said them.

Chrissy was not interested at all, but I've got a huge crush. HUGE crush.

I'm relatively sure seminary will beat the rationality and reason and compassion out of him.. but from what Giam said last night about his religious beliefs.. He could not have echoed my own any more perfectly. This is extremely ... extremely rare.

He's smart. He's currently working in software development.. A Geek. *drool* Ethics and beliefs are perfectly fitting with mine (from what I could tell so far, we didn't discuss everything), and he has a rocking body. I got tipsy enough that I was .. well a little more handsy than usual.

By the end of the night, if Giam had asked me to run away and marry him.. I would have said yes. I would have also been a little inebriated. Had we been in Vegas, I probably would have asked him... well maybe after a few more vodkas.

He left with his friends though. I'd given him my number earlier in the evening, and we'll see if he calls. I very much doubt he does, but I wish he would.

Though waking up this morning.. I'm pretty embarrassed. The guy is going to seminary.. and relatively soon after meeting him, I introduced a conversation about penises.. which honestly turned into a conversation about car/penis compensation.. which I then joking accused him of having a sports car (which he took in great stride btw, but still). Then after another drink, I walked by him and demonstrated on him for Chrissy the "walk by - feel up" that I do on occasion without his consent or knowledge that I was demonstrating it. Aka.. I just walked by and felt up a dude going to seminary.

Pretty sure he's not going to be calling.

On the other hand, after he left .. Mr Short from the group and Mr Middle Eastern came up like gang busters talking to us. Both of them at one point pulling me aside to talk one on one. Both asking for my number.

Exactly. The guys that I am NOT interested in.. all want me. Mr Middle Eastern has already attempted to add me on Facebook. *click* Ignore.

Twitter Me This

So I go out Friday night. Its dreary. Its been raining. So I put off going out.

But I RSVP'd yes.. Plus I can help spread the word about sites where I'm writing, and possibly network for jobs maybe. And it was at the Gingerman (hello self, your favorite bar) So I should go right?

I drag myself out. I dressed nicely.. well nicely for the Gingerman, but comfy for me. I did my hair and my makeup. When I last checked in the mirror before leaving I looked GOOD.

I walk out. Its still raining. By the time I get to my car, even with the umbrella, my hair is now laying flat and frizzy. Damn it. But my face still looks ok.

By the time I actually get to the bar, my makeup is pretty much invisible with the exception of a little mascara and eyeliner. Great!

Being as I was (on my own) meeting with a bunch of people from Twitter that I've never met before let alone only twittered with a couple of them ever, even though I've been to the Gingerman tons of times, my social anxiety was in full swing. Entering the "party" looking worse than I did before I showered was not helping at all.

Luckily the Partymeister and crew were there to help give me a life-raft. I ran into them shortly after entering the bar when Pete yelled "Hey!!!" loudly as I walked by. I said my "Hi's" and went to find the Twitter ensemble.

2 hours late and the party was packed. Seriously packed like front of the stage at a rock concert. It could have easily been a moshpit. If I was actually prone to panic attacks, I'd have had one just trying to get through the crowd.

I instead went back to the Partymeister's crew and had a beer. Chatted a bit. Relaxed. However, when Partymeister's pal 'Chesthair Man' decided to start pulling out his chest hair to prove to me that he didn't need to be drunk to do it.. I decided to give the Twitterers another go.

I met a really nice guy with a huge dog. HUGE dog. I believe it was a short-haired St. Bernard. It made my 43lbs possible Belgian Shepherd look like a lapdog. The dog was sequestered under the coffee table, and I totally envied the dog. I really wanted to just be under there with it.

But I threw a smile on my face, and tried to make my rounds. It was still massively crowded and moving around was hazardous, so I tried to stay on the edge of the group. Still too crowded.

So I went back to Partymeister's table and had another beer. This time Chris was there. Unfortunately, he was also there with this very sexy "neighbor-friend" (his term) and completely absorbed by her. Cute & adorable, but not very entertaining for me. (Yes it is all about me.) So I talked a while with Pete as Chesthair Man went home, and Partymeister was distracted with some cute girls.

Finished my beer, then attempted the Twitterers again. I then finally found LaniAR whom I'd found out about the Twitter party through, and was the hostess. She introduced me to a couple people and we hit it off.

I actually met several really cool girls through the party which is extremely strange for me, but hey.. its a good thing. I also met a couple guys. One was extremely HOT, but sadly uber-married. Another may grow on me.. we'll see.

All in all, it was a good time. Tiring. Stressful. Insane. But a good time.

Oh and I now have a massive amount of Twitter-followers. Seriously though Twitterers.. I'm not THAT interesting. I promise. But for you, I'll try. :)

Actual Live People

Last night I went out to a Happy Hour party hosted by the Partymeister (he'd actually be pissed I think if he knew I called him that). It was held at his favorite bar, which... to be perfectly honest.. isn't a good bar for mingling. The mingling space they have contains tables that are bolted to the floor and too close together for people to actually mingle around them. So it was kinda annoying.

After the first half-hour of attempting to mingle, I ordered & ate some cheap food, paid my bill and planned to leave.

Just as I was about to say "Goodbye"... In walks Carl.

I'd met Carl several times, and none of those times did we talk much.. but I knew he was funny and talkative.. so I went over to say Hi.

Carl asked how I was doing and how the group was (you know wanting an FYI on everything he'd missed so far).. So I told him it was boring, all the interesting people had left, and so I'd planned to leave...

Without skipping a beat he interrupted, "But now I'M HERE!!" and his face broke out with a huge smile.

I couldn't help but laugh. Shortly after that, Chris came and joined our conversation. We were all friends of Partymeister, and had met several times. Most of the rest of the group were new to us, which is good but sometimes you just want the comfort of people you know.

With Chris and Carl, it became an hour of laughing. Carl loves to make up silly things as if they really happened. Chris was more than willing to join in. At one point, they were explaining to me their Mexican mafia business (Carl is Mexican, Chris is as pasty white as they come) and how many people they could fit into shipping containers and that Chris was waiting for an email confirmation that the container had arrived. (Chris was actually waiting for an email, but from a girl he was non-date-date going to watch the meteor shower with)

About an hour or so later, Chris got his email (came to tell us by saying "The container's arrived, I've got to go") and ran out the door to prep for it. He was making a picnic lunch, packing a bottle of wine, an airmattress, and a sleeping bag. It sounded way too romantic to be a non-date-date, but hey.. ya know..

So that left me and Carl. After tonight, I'm starting to love Carl, at least as a party buddy maybe more. He's just as sick-twisted-demented as me, and we have the same humor. So yeah we had a blast.

Unfortunately he's also at least 3 inches shorter than me, and very skinny. I could twirl him over my head like a baton, but his personality and our connection tonight.. well I'm almost thinking of him as a man and not a baton... which is progress for me right?

At the happy hour though there were two men that were really hot. One was on a date. The other was .. well.. an extreme sports person. Both were 6'-6'2, well built, ruggedly handsome face... *sigh* Now if you could just put Carl's personality into that kind of package..

Yeah.. he'd already be married or be gay. Yeah I know.

But it was a fun night, and despite my exhaustion on returning home, it was good to get out and meet actually live people. I really should do it more often.

Its All In Who You Know

After a long week of driving myself insane, Friday night I needed to relax. However, I'd also finally gotten an invite to the Partymeister's weekly Friday Night Happy Hour.

The Partymeister is a 40ish good looking man who is always the life of the party and always knows where all the great parties are. The Partymeister also knows quite a few good looking 30's 40's single men in Austin. So knowing the Partymeister and attending his events is an excellent way to network and meet eligible bachelors. He also is very zen and relaxed, so even if you don't meet anyone the company is still worth it.

So even though I wanted to sit at home with my Netflix, I dragged my lazy butt out to a bar. It was a pretty chill night, and it was a relatively small group. We started off at a divey-bar/restaurant.. then headed off to a really divey bar.

But I did manage to get my flirt on. (Don't I always?)

In my circle of people, there are a few outliers. I know who they are. They know most of the people I know. But I myself only see them rarely. This pretty much made up the entire group of people at the Happy Hour. It was interesting.

I made a new girly friend, and I re-met a guy.

This guy I've re-met about 5-6 times now. The first 4 or so times he never remembered meeting me. I'd try to go talk to him and he'd move before I got to him or he'd turn away to talk to someone on the other side of him.

So the last time (the time before last Friday) I "met" him, I made sure to make a lasting impression. I was no longer trying to "win" him over, and for some reason that time he talked to me. When I'd mentioned that we'd met previously, he looked at me with severe disbelief. A look that said "There is no way that I would not remember meeting you!" I very matter of factly said that we had met and that he consistently forgot me. I was being polite but bitchy.

It is THAT that he remembers me. I must have made an impression, because on Friday he knew exactly who I was even though it had been months since we'd last met. He even reminded me that I yelled at him, and he apologized for forgetting me, making sure I knew that he'd remembered me this time. It was honestly quite cute.

When the Partymeister overheard our conversation, he was aghast. I don't think he's ever heard me say a bad word to anyone, let alone his bar-buddy Don. Don is known all over everywhere as being a completely nice guy. So to yell at him is something akin to beating a teddy bear.

So I turned to Partymeister to defend myself.

"I'm sorry but he totally deserved it. He met me like 5 times before and still acted each time like it was the first." I of course smiled my mischievous innocent naughty girl smile, and he started laughing.

"Don... How possible is it that you were too drunk to remember?"

Don then laughed and said, "Yeah thats probably it."

I maintained that I was more than memorable no matter how much drink someone has had, and that Don was not that drunk. We agreed to disagree, but Don remembers me now... so I win!

Don and I talked a little that night one on one, but in such a small group is difficult and rather rude (unless you want to be jibed for 'dating') to separate from the group.

As a group though, we got on the topic of being single. The men all happily exclaimed that it was a great time to be single, especially for men in Austin. Evidently its a 2-1 ratio or something. However, supposedly (according to these same male sources) Austin, Texas has one of the highest singles rates in the USA, or one of the largest pockets of single men to choose from. So they assured me that it was a great time to be single in Austin even for a woman. PHEW! :)

The group broke up after the second bar. A few wanted to go downtown (additional parking costs) and a few of us wanted to find some food. Don, I, and my new girly friend all went for food.

We chatted about this and that, but as soon Denise left the table, Don would start asking me about my ex-husband, and telling me about his divorce. He wanted to know how long I'd been divorced, what stage of recovery I was in.. etc. As soon as Denise returned, we'd switch the subject.

Soon we began talking about phones. Denise, being a college student and poor, could not afford her bill and had hers shut off. (she now has it back on btw) Don however took the topic and ran. He pulled out his phone, clicked on it a couple times, looked at me and said:

"What's your number?"

Don is cute. He's not overly tall but he's not short either. He's smart, educated, and sweet. And he looks like one of the Baldwin brothers.

So of course I gave him my number. When I got home, he'd added me on Facebook as well. He's supposed to be at another Happy Hour tomorrow night, so we'll see how things go.

My Interesting Night Out

I so needed a night out, and last night I finally got one. I got all gussied up.. well appropriately gussied. With the play I'm doing, I have to have my hair messy so I've not been able to do my hair properly for a while now. It was SOOOO good to finally do my hair. I put on a new shirt that I bought without trying it on, put it on and OMG I'm totally in love with it. It was a little tight, but in all the right places.

Ok, so I went out to a Happy Hour with one of the groups I'm in. I knew about half the people who showed up, and there were a few new people. It was great to see people again and catch up.. the best was meeting the new people.

I wasn't really trying to meet new people, but alas when there was new people showing up (I was near the entrance most of the night talking to some friends) and no one was greeting them... well my empathy takes over and I welcomed them to the group and made the appropriate introductions and found someone for conversation with them.

I absolutely hate going to a new meeting or group and no one greets you. Its absolutely the worst.

So one of the people I greeted was a rather unimpressive looking man. He was attractive, but not someone that you'd see in a crowd and say "he's hot". He just looked like your average guy. He stayed and chatted with me for a while, and then went off to get a drink. In my "hostess" way of being, I occasionally glanced his direction to make sure that he did get a drink and found other conversation. He did and had so I relaxed and just did my own thing.

Soon after I found him back at my side and talking to me and giving me his card. He was charming and fun, and we began talking even more. I'd told him that I was moving from beer to vodka as I noticed they carried my favorite. So when he bought his next beer, he bought me a vodka.

As people would drift in and out, he'd talk to them but he'd always come back to me and flirt. It was looking promising the more I knew about him.

Towards the end of the Happy Hour, the group was winding down and we got to meet a couple females that I hadn't met before. One of them I swear I know from somewhere, we agreed she has to be someone's doppelganger. She was relatively pretty, but soon found out she had a boyfriend. The other one was from my home state of Nebraska and to be honest acted like she hadn't been out of that state very long. Mitzi was blonde, and didn't have too bad of a body but her face was ... well.. ugly.

She was nice and friendly with me, and she seemed to like Josh (the guy I'd been flirting with), but she'd been hanging all over a younger man more her age the entire night so I wasn't concerned.

We all decided to move the party over to another bar. As we were finishing drinks some friends came back in, and mentioned another group was at the bar so I stole off for a few minutes to see who all else was there. It was of course the "Athiest" group. Damn it. But one of the guys was hot. He was tall, built.. like he used to be linebacker. He was nice and took my joking for the flirting that it was (I think). Seriously he was a dangerous combo. Good looking, smart, funny - He told me he was a Frisbitarian "when you die, your soul gets trapped on the roof and you can't get it down". Unfortunately he was also toting a book he thought was amazing (the author was present) which "proved" that the old testament was fairy tales. Really not a good sign, but man he was hot, so I invited their group to join us at the new location.

I saw that my original group was leaving to the new destination, and I joined them. Josh walked beside me, and we flirted some more. At the new place, I ended up sitting next to Josh, we talked, we flirted, and we held hands under the table. We were both social with the people around us, talking, laughing, but always coming back to each other with a touch or whatever.

The Atheists joined us, and because of the way things were situated, I moved over to their table for a while. Josh ordered food and joined me there. Sat beside me, caressed my knee, occasionally put his hand on my shoulder, and held my hand under the table. I was pretty confident by this time, so when I saw Mitzi starting to hang on him (she did this actually while he was holding my hand btw) I wrote her off.. and he seemed flattered by it but not really interested.

As the night progressed people kept milling around and not keeping to their seats, and the seat next to the hot atheist opened up so I sat down to talk to him. Josh had gotten up from beside me by this point and was talking in among the rest of our original group. So I chatted with the atheist, we flirted a bit. He feigned being offended by my flirty jabs at his atheism, and I jokingly mentioned that I could move to the other side of the room if he was in such discomfort.. He replied

"You're fine right where you are."

Which I took as promising. Unfortunately, my alcohol intake had gotten the better of me and I accidently dumped an entire large glass of ice water all down my front. I was mortified. Atheist offered me napkins, but I was way beyond that point. Fortunately my black shorts did not show where they were wet and I was able to mill around without everyone knowing what I'd done. Small blessings.

Atheist left soon after that. It was getting late and quite a few people were leaving. Josh went to the bar to get a new drink, and asked if he could get me anything. I told him a "Framboise". He repeated it and went to the bar. He was gone a long time, so I went to see what the hold up was. He was flirting with the waitstaff and bartender. He was quite inebriated by this point, but he saw me and put his arm around me. He however had not ordered me a drink, and since I knew I really didn't need one I didn't remind him. There was a moment where we easily could have kissed, our faces were close, but he didn't kiss me, and I am not really into being that brazen unless I'm looking for a one night stand... which I'm not. Had he kissed me, I'd have returned it, but he did not.

Then came the dividing up the bill. A friend of mine was making it a complete pain in the ass. Most of us had cards, and since when they run your card there's always the "tip line" I like to make sure the total is covered, then people can tip as they deem appropriate. Tipping for me is an extremely private thing. Its between me and the waitstaff, and is a symbol of my appreciation or not of their job performance. But he wanted to make sure she had a huge tip and wanted all of us with cards to verbally "promise" him that she'd get a huge tip on our cards. I think he was drunk himself, because simple math was way beyond him and yet until he understood it he wouldn't allow me to turn the money over to the waitress. This took forever.

When all was said and done and we finally could leave, I didn't see Josh anywhere. I figured he'd run to the toilet or something and would catch up.

But as we were walking out, I saw him a few paces ahead with Mitzi. They were walking fast. My friend and his date were planning on going to another place for music, and shouted to Josh & Mitzi an invitation. Josh turned around, and me being behind my friend and his date (so they wouldn't see me), I flipped him off.

I told my friend and his date I was tired and said my good byes. Josh and Mitzi scurried down the street as fast as possible and were soon out of site.

I went home. I think.. I may have just dodged a bullet.

A Good Night

I really had a great night last night. Surprisingly, Evie was there as well and she was awesome. Boggle. I think it helped that we were a few people away from each other at the table, so I had my people to talk to and she had hers. It lessened the need for competition.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

Last night was $2 beers and $2 shots of vodka Happy Hour at a local restaurant. I wasn't going to go, but when I found out it was $2 vodka of a brand that I actually like, I decided I had to go. I figured if it was a total bust, at least I could get drunk for cheap.

I get there early, but people are already getting started. I sat down near one end of the long table. At the time I sat down there was an equal peppering of males vs females along the table. Within the next 10 minutes as people arrived, my end of the table was completely guys (+me) and the other end of the table was mostly women (+ a guy). If I could have planned it out myself, it could not have been better.

Now before you start to jump to conclusions, I was really not interested in any of these guys except maybe one, and I'm not even sure about that. But as I've stated in previous posts, I love the friendship of men. I even love the conversations of men.

Conversing with men is always educational, unless they're morons which these men were not. Every one of these men were relatively successful business men of various fields of business. To be completely honest, they were all quite a catch. I learned about golfing, golf fees, where to golf, why to golf, how to enjoy golf, and how to make loads of cash golfing. I also learned that nearly every heterosexual male loves the UFC, and that NASCAR might actually be palatable if seen in person while drinking loads of beer (for me it would be comparable to going to a sporting event that I could care less about, as long as I'm plied with alcohol I can join in the fun unabated).

While the conversation never really got into anything severely interesting, I found myself entertained quite well by finding out tidbits about them.

Mr. India's third language is English. He loves golf, and buying girls drinks. He bought be a double shot of vodka after I'd already had 3. I'm pretty certain he was trying to get me drunk. When I first met him a couple weeks ago, I thought he was kinda creepy and I wasn't sure what to make of him. That could have been partly due to the fact that he has a habit of looking at me like I'm a steak.

Mr. India turned out to be quite fun though, and I've decided that if I ever take up golf, I'll be golfing his way. Mr. India's golfing style is merely this. Get a bunch of friends together on an empty course, have lots of drinks, and play golfing drinking games. He does this once a year with some friends and when the games were described he mentioned "Yeah we don't usually remember finishing all the holes, and sometimes we don't". He however does like to bet money on his golf game, which I'd have to win the lottery or get really good at golf before I tried that.

Next to him was Kevin, a friend who I'm starting to really love inviting to things as he always brings a friend who is sexier than he is. This time he brought his friend Charles who sat next to me. Charles was the only one at the table that I even thought about dating. He was charming and geeky and knowledgeable. I learned a lot of secrets about Twitter last night which I won't be sharing here. I swear I don't know why, but talking tech geek really fuels my fire.

On the other side of me was Derk. Derk was the first guy Evie stole from me (mentioned in my Women Who Hate Women post). We talked and joked and got long well as usual. People were handing out cards, and crossing out numbers they didn't use any more or didn't want people to use, so I got out my faux cards. Since I don't have a job and haven't for years, I got tired of not having an easy way of giving out my contact information. So I made up some cards that would be safe to hand out to pretty much anyone. It has my first name only, my phone number, my email, and my Myspace (which only has my first name anyway).

When I showed Derk the card, and explained that I just had some personal cards made with only the contact info I wanted people to have, he ooo'd over it and specifically asked if he could have one. WTF?? I'm not sure I want to know why he wants my contact info, but I gave him one. Pretty sure if he calls, all I'm going to ask him about is his ex (Evie says he's not over her yet), his dogs, and Evie. He's a little late on the "asking for my number" bit.

Mr. India also asked for a card, but sadly Charles did not. Charles did say he'd see me on Friday night, the next outing of the group, so maybe we'll see.

(PS.. I think I'll try to forgive Evie, she spent most of the night talking me up to Mr. India who sat beside her.)