Wishfully Wrong

I may have been wrong.

Maybe.

It's really hard to say because I am so very often right (really I'm not full of myself or anything), so this is completely new to me... its really hard to say.


But ..


He thought of me today.

It wasn't one of those "Hey sweety, I was thinking of you" sort of messages. But he saw something that reminded him of a conversation we had, and sent me a link to update me on it. Aka "Saw this, thought you'd find it interesting [link to article about what we'd talked about]"

Guys.. if you really want to win a girl.. and have a relationship.. shit like that will get you everywhere.

Remembering random things that she's said from previous conversations.. for example this particular thing was from a conversation that happened about a week ago... and giving her more information on that topic or asking her input on a link about that subject..


If she likes you at all.. she's going to swoon. It shows that you do listen to her, but not only that.. you listened to the point that when you saw that topic again, you not only had a passing thought of her, but had a strong enough thought of her to go out of your way to tell her about the topic or inform her on something you thought she might care about based on that conversation.




So.. right now I'm swooning a bit. Ok, I'm swooning a lot.


So.. maybe I was wrong.. maybe he does like me?
Or maybe he just really happened across something, and figured as a friend I needed to know?

I'm just going to go with... he likes me. Because a little delusional hopeful thinking never hurt anyone.. right?


Plus.. I rock. How could he not?

Crazies Come Out At Night

Last night was crazy. As usual all my important events all happen to be scheduled at the same exact time.


My Flirting Group.
A huge networking event
A new writers group "sit down and write" meeting (which obviously I need)
The FED - Swing Dancing

Let's not even mention all the friend's happy hour invites, movie invites, and other more extraneous activities. Though I suppose the FED is kinda extraneous, but I kinda absentmindedly insinuated that I'd show up this week.

I needed to go to the top 3 events. I only actually made it to two, and even that was crazy. I went to the flirting group mostly because I wanted to reconnect with the organizer for it. One day he's going to be a multi-millionaire, and I'll probably still need a job. Plus we both kinda love behavioral sciences. If it was legal/possible to stick humans in jars and watch what they did... we'd be doing it... though neither of us is really a scientist. We're just both kinda crazy.. in mostly good ways (depending on who you talk to.)


Anyway, I arrive at the Flirting group and I get to talk to the organizer a bit. He's been trying to reconnect with me (professionally - networking.. the guy is a newly wed), so we got a good chat in while everyone else did the flirting exercises. I thought about staying and flirting myself, but honestly looking at the men present.. I figured I'd have better luck next door at the networking event. (aka out of the 3 guys that showed up, only one of them was .. er.. acceptable appearance-wise, and he seemed about as into me as day old fish.)

However, my organizer friend did mention some kind of millionaires group in town that throws parties. Evidently its 4 men to every women, and he said I'd "clean up" there and that it'd be like shooting fish in a barrel. So I'll be looking out for those. ;) I mean.. millionaires for the taking? Who wouldn't?



Then I headed over to my networking party. I walk in. Anxiety. Its wall to wall people and there's a line to get in. They're doing nametags, AND the people at the nametag table are writing out the name tags for the people. Meaning EVERY SINGLE PERSON is attempting to spell out their name for the person writing the name down. WTF?

This is not how these events normally go.. so when I got to the table and the girl asked my name.. pen ready to write out my name tag.. I kinda went a little nutz (inside, I tried to hide it). I felt like I was 2 and couldn't write my name myself, so this nice lady had to do it for me. If I could have grabbed the damn nametag from her and written it myself I would have. Instead, I asked nicely if I could write it. She balked a bit, but handed me the nametag while telling me that the person next to her needed to also know my name to write it on the sign-in sheet. I had this strange creepy sensation as if I was suddenly not at a networking event but at some kind of military camp with alcohol.

I shook it off, and ran to find people I knew. It wasn't too hard as about every 5 steps I ran into someone I knew from some place or another. Said hi in my awkward.. "I have nothing interesting to say" way, and yet somehow found something to say anyway. Hopefully it was interesting whatever it was I did say, though I fear it was not.

I had a good time though.. flirting with very happily married male friends.. and attempting to find an attractive looking single male. Which for some reason is getting harder and harder at these events, as every good looking man at these events it seems is gay. Seriously. I'm not joking.

Though I did get to see Pierce again. Now, I've mentioned once before that I'd kinda had a thing for him since the first time I met him, and that we flirt.. but I have no idea if he's interested or not. After last night, I'm going to say .. not interested.

He was looking extra fantastic though. It was like suddenly he went from the uber-geeky guy to uber-hot guy. He had on this clingy fitted t-shirt. Normally I just assume geeky guys are rather non-muscular and well.. geeky figures.. No no.. Pierce is f'n ripped. I don't know what kind of canned spinach he's been eating or what kind of toxic spill he slipped into or what.. but DAAAAAAAAAAMMMN he was looking good. I almost forgot how to talk to him as I was busy staring. I'm pretty sure my mouth fell open and dragged on the floor a couple times as well.

It is not fair. Brainy. Fun. Great personality. And f'n hot? Sorry but I'm quite sure that's illegal.


Anyway, towards the end of the night, I found him again (I'd done some mingling and came back) and we chatted for a while. He excused himself to use the facilities, said he'd be right back.. in a way that made it sound like he was reassuring me (soo not a good sign).. only never to return. I did see him come out of the restroom, and look in my direction.. but he didn't come over.



Ah well..



I found myself exhausted by that point anyway.. too much social time and too little food. I'd kinda forgotten to eat all day until right before I had to leave, in which I didn't really have time to eat then. So I headed home to make myself a big assed plate of food.


On my way to my car though, I pass by Katz Diner. Suddenly I hear thudding on the window of the diner and two guys looking at me and waving exstaticly for me to come in. WTF? I went in.. mostly out of curiousity about what drugs these guys were on.. but partly because I vaguely recognized one of the guy's faces. They were both brown skinned and looked Indian.


What is with me attracting Indians?? Please someone tell me?

So I walk in. The host says, "Table for one?" and starts to grab a menu when I interupt him.

"No no.. I believe I was summoned by some strange guys that I don't know. I'm sure I'll be right back." And I head into the dining room.

The host looks at me with "Oh thats what they were doing" relief and a bit of a "good luck" smile.



I get to their table, and ask "Do I know you?"





The one whose face I vague recall seeing before looks offended. The other guy is quick to invite me to sit down and introduces himself. For an Indian guy btw, the second guy is hot. He even had longish hair which I normally find revolting but on him it was fantastic.



Evidently, I'd met the first guy at one of the networking parties. Which one? I don't recall. This is how long Indian men stay on my radar.. blip.. gone.



The guys are nice and welcoming. They try to convince me to stay and eat with them. They're uber-sweet.. the creepy too sweet thing that it seems only Indian men can do really well to make you feel comfortable.. and yet those experienced with Indian men know that behind all that niceness is a very persistant "come home and fuck me". Both of them were fresh off the boat Indians, and since I had no intention of going home and fucking either one of them.. I left.



It was a funny picture though... two strange men excitedly pounding a window as I walked by in order to catch my attention.. Flattering.



Unfortunately that never happens with men I actually like.

My Love-Hate Affair With Twitter And Facebook

I'm supposed to be getting married today.

Ok.. so thats a joke.. or at least I hope to hell it is. If he's actually waiting for me in Vegas right now.. I'm SO SO sorry.. but I'm not showing up.

It was a long twitter flirting session with a nice guy, a longtime Twitter friend. It started as jokingly planning to be parents together, which gave me some ideas of maybe why I scare off people that are already parents.

I threatened to make the kids run to school while I whipped them from behind (in my sports car) to hurry up. (It was to help them get better soccer/running skills, what?)

I refused to get a minivan, and instead opted to throw the kids in the "back" of a Miata. (In all those kidnapping movies, no one ever dies in the trunk.)

While completely insane jokes.. I'm pretty sure only the parents with a good sense humor (or extremely horrid parenting skills) would stick around.

On another note... I am a scared chicken. Maybe a groundhog? Or whatever else that runs and hides in its hole at the slightest signal of fear?

That would be me and social networking (& dating actually) right now.

Last week, I decided to be a little crazy and just added anyone on my Facebook suggestions who had more than 3 friends in common with me.

Funny enough, they all added me back. Sight Unseen. Never talked. No comment, no email. Just "added" and went on with their day. Totally normal Facebook.  

I assume that they, like myself, assumed they'd get to know me over time by seeing my feed which would give us something to talk about.

Then there was one.  Who added me. Then found me on Twitter and added me. And then sent me this via Twitter:

"Where have you been all my life?"

Which I hoped like hell was a joke, and replied to it as a serious question.. (my way of joking back)

"Probably in the bathroom or in bed. It seems statistically thats where most people spend the most time in their lifetime."

Ok, so it wasn't a funny response, but it was a response.

Then he publicly asked me to clarify some personal information.  Well if any of you remember the whole debacle from a week ago.. You know that my online trust is at an all time ZERO.  This person is also a dating blogger, meaning that my trust is even lower than zero as I just don't know him and don't know who his friends are, alliances, or motives. To say that I crawled in my "safety hole" would be an understatement.

So I DM him. "Why" (aka why do you want to know)

He replies with a compliment, and again asking for clarification on the personal information.

I reply only to the compliment, with a "Thank you."

He then asks me where I live, which is not a secret.. everyone by now knows I live in Austin.

"Very cool. I love it down there. Stayed at a great hotel whose name I forgot.."

To be honest, I had no idea how to reply to this. Its Austin. Hotels are pretty much hotels. There's only one hotel here that isn't your normal run of the mill hotel (sure there are fancy hotels and sleezy hotels, but they're normal for fancy or sleezy). 

M - "well theres lots of hotels here, but only one awesome one.. the Driskill"

Dude - "I don't think that was it. I would def fit into austin."

(ugh, by this time, I'm just tired of talking. I'm also still in my protective hole, so I'm not investing a lot in my responses. I just don't trust this guy ... yet. I guess.. and am not seeing the point.. so I get flippant.)

M - "then you should move here."

Dude - "can I come visit first?"

(My head is seriously trying to spin off my neck at this point. A. He already claimed to have visited once. B. He doesn't need my permission. C. Oh god back off... I should have just told him that I wasn't in the mood to talk right now.. but no.. I do my normal.. lets burn this to the ground.)

M - "I dunno... did you get exiled and told not to return? if not, then I'm sure Austin would be fine with it."

Dude - "Do you go and see music all the time and stuff??"

(a music buff.. great.. please keep proving to me this conversation is useless.. please please.)

M - "not really. not all the time. sometimes."

Dude - "sorry my questions are kind of lame ahahah imagine what a date with me would be like!!"

(Finally dude is picking up on signals that I don't want to talk to him. Maybe the 20 questions will end. Please please... Maybe we can actually have a conversation someday without it feeling like an inquisition?)

M - "you're kinda scary :)"

Dude - ":-/"

M - "its ok. I'm just extremely skittish and kinda a bitch"

Dude - "awesome. you belong in nyc"

M - "lol.. i'm not that much of a bitch.. Chicago is more my style."

He didn't reply again. Can't say that I blame him much.

Sadly, had I given into my inner-panic-voice I'd have just Twitter-blocked him from the moment he asked me about my personal information, and this conversation wouldn't have happened.

Or I could have just outright told him that I don't discuss my personal information, though that would have looked like a denial and made him ask more personal information..

Or I could have just been a bigger bitch sooner.

He's probably a nice guy, and just wanted to get to know me better. *sigh* who knows.

I just know that my trust in meeting new people through Twitter (and Facebook actually) is severely damaged.

I used to just be a happy go-lucky girl on those. It's really going to take me a long time to get back there.

No Relationship & You Can't Make Me

Luke & I talked last night. Well he messaged me. I replied.

My anxiety about him wanting to date increased every time I thought of him. I am no where near that yet, not with him, not with anyone. Especially not with him actually.

I keep thinking that I might be, or that I want to be, then I start thinking about all the complications. Seat up, Seat Down, Dish washing methodology, Laundry methodology, How clean to keep the house, How dirty to keep the house, Moving (Luke has already stated I'd have to move to where he is - panic), Giving up things, Compromises... the list goes on.. and I start having trouble breathing or thinking straight. All I want to do is RUN!

But how do you say that to a guy without sounding like a complete lunatic?

I did my best..

L - "Just saying hi. Haven't heard from ya"

(our last conversation was 48 hours ago, and I started to feel pressured, but I pretended to be ok)

M - "Oh was I supposed to keep in touch? Hi!" 

L - "Well ya if you wanted to... guess you don't :)"  

(is it just me or did that come off as passive-aggressive? Insert more anxiety for me)

M - "Are you playing games? Testing me?"  

(seriously we just started talking again, and in 48 hours you're all this??)

L - "Testing you? Not that I'm aware of. Suppose if I did you failed :)"

M - "I'm f'n with ya :) I fail a lot btw mostly intentionally. I'm a rebel like that"

(I cover well don't I?)

He then goes into blah blah boring stuff (to you all) about his work and asks about my day (more boring stuff), then this..

L - "Was thinking about ya last night"

M - "Uh oh"

L - "Ya.. I'll not give you the details but it was highly pornographic.. I know you're less then interested. But I figured I would tell ya"

(Am I making shit up, or is this passive aggressive crapola again? No where did I say I wasn't interested, just that it was too soon to "date" - my anxiety went all sorts of haywire)

M - "Less than interested? What in the world was I doing?" 

(I can handle filthy talk, just not relationship talk. Please take the hint)

L - "No I meant you less than interested in me being pervy with you"

(again, where in the hell did I say this? Now I'm angry with anxiety. Yay me)

M - "Uh huh I know what you meant. I was ignoring your attempt at putting words in my mouth"

M - "So what did I do?"

L - "Its not what you did exactly... its more of what I was doing to you :) you know you make it hard to flirt with you"

M - "I try :) So what were you doing then?"

He dodges the question nicely by telling me how sexy I was in a corset and that I looked good from all sorts of positions. He refused to give details. Asshole. :)

M - "Well that was very anti-climatic :P"

L - "lol not for you it wasn't.. repeatedly I might say"

(I got a chuckle out of that I must say)

He then mentioned that I was jaded..

M - " :P Yes I'm very jaded :)"

L - "Lol I think you need to let go of the jaded or this may be really hard :)"

(If I could just "get over it" like that I would. I've got damage. Sue me.)

M - "I thought hard was your thing"

L - "lol You know what I mean"

M - "Nope, no idea :)"

L - "So is this just you playing hard to get? :)"

(insert panic)

M - "Nope. Not playing anything. Just livin"

L - "Well its certainly hard to tell if you're interested or not"

(insert freakout and trying to breathe, so I decide to be honest and try to phrase it right)

M - "Maybe that's cuz I'm not as far along the road as you are. You seem impatient for me to say I'm interested which is making me feel more like retreating than moving forward"

M - "I'm just getting used to talking to you again"

M - "Trying to enjoy that without the "where's this going" mentality"

(Huge weight off my shoulders, then I panic about him possibly being insulted, then I relax as I remind myself if he gets insulted thats his issue and he can f'off)

L - "Well at least you told me how you feel. Exactly what I needed from you."

I honestly have no idea what that means, but I think things are fine as his next few messages were about the cutsie things his 2 yr old was doing.  It was a very boring play by play of bathing and playing with dolls which bored even me.

The conversation ended with me telling him to go have fun with his daughter.

The Bad Good Boy

If you remember, I posted about my adventure with Hock a week or so ago, and I mentioned that I thought he was a relationship guy and that he had some kind pain or trauma he was hiding.

He does. I asked him about it actually. One of those dreaded.. "Why are you single?" questions.

A few months ago, he got out of a bad relationship. He now wants to be a bad boy and get out there and just have some fun.

Picturing him as a bad boy cracks me up. Hilarious.

He was honest with me about not wanting to date, and to be honest after the whole Luke thing, not dating never sounded so good. So we had a good chat about how neither of us is wanting to date right now.

He has yet to ask me about myself btw. Which I find strange and yet comforting. I hate talking about me (I know you don't believe me) and its oddly comforting that he seems to care less about my past. Meaning that with him I can completely escape and be whomever I want to be.

Maybe Cleopatra.. Hmmm...

A few days later, he sent me an invite to a party he's throwing that some of our mutual friends are going to as well. Its not a date.. just an invite.

I haven't decided yet if I'm going to go. There's a $18 fee to get in, which he didn't offer to pay, and I'm not sure I can afford (or should afford?) right now.  I don't really want him to pay either, as then it would feel like a date and I'm sure my anti-dating anxiety would get started.. it would change the entire tone of the event.

So I may go.. or I may not. I just don't know. But it is nice that he wants to see me.

Making Sense Of Mac

So.. I should update you on my dating life... or what there is of it.

I'd been toying with the idea of online stalking Mac, and contacting him. I don't normally (well anymore) contact men first. In the past, its always backfired on me.

But Mac is hot, and we had a really great time talking the other night at the bar.. and I got a little hopeful that he was at least interested as friends.

So, Saturday, I'm reading some blogs and run across @SingleCityGuy's blog post about contacting men first.. don't be shy.. kind of advice.

I figure What the hell.  If he's interested .. great. If he's not, then I'll just move on. Easy peasy.

So I hunt down Mac online via the website my group uses. I have a little game of hunting because I only know his first name and I spell it wrong.

I finally locate him and shoot him a short note playfully calling him evil for getting me stuck on an iPhone game he recommended the other night.

He replies almost instantly (within an hour). I'm excited. This is a good sign, right?

Then I start reading his email:

"That is funny.  So, I am guessing that you now have my email from me responding to this"

At this point my heart hit the floor. I thought he was saying that he was reluctant to give me his email, but did because thats the way the site works if you hit reply. Then I continued reading.

"and my number is xxx-xxx-xxxx for texting emergencies or comedy.

All is well with me.  How are things with you?"

Wait... he gave me his phone number? Unprompted?

Was now gasping for air and watching the world spin as I tried to make sense of it. This was unprecedented. I had no idea how to proceed.

So I replied saying how I was, and gave him my number.

Two minutes later I get a text message from him

"Tag You're It"

I laughed. a lot. loudly.

I texted something humorous back and we began chatting (texting).

At one point the conversation on his end just stopped. In my wonderful way of freaking out.. and it doesn't help that I honestly think he's out of my league... I texted him a joke about me being a conversation killer, which read in the right tone (the tone in my head) was paranoid and pathetic.

He'd gone to cook dinner as he had to work that night. (a part time job he hates but took to pass the time)  I felt like a moron, so I waited to reply.

We chatted a little more.

Sunday, no word. I wondered if he'd take initiative. So I didn't bother messaging him.

Monday.. daylight came and went.. Nothing from him. Great. So I decided to message him and see what happened.

So I texted him a benign "How was your weekend?"

He replies right away and we do the "How are you" required chatting. He tells me about things he's doing unprompted. Sharing bits about himself.

Its then I realize why I'm so comfortable with Mac. He's open and honest. After years of enduring my ex who was withholding in every area, and even from the beginning made me pry to get anything out of him.. Mac is easy. I'm not left guessing much of anything.. (well except maybe where this is all going, but neither of us has the answer to that yet I don't think.)

****

Actually, there's a story from the last time we'd met that I'd left out accidentally. Getty had asked him about his watch. Its a sexy manly watch. It looks military and since he's ex-military, it fits him well. He took off his watch casually and handed it to us to look at.  We were examining it and I got the bright idea to try it on.

I turned my back to him slightly so I could hide the fact that I was trying it on. I'm self-conscious about my body in certain aspects, and its been a problem with some men I've dated. I am not a weak woman. It actually infuriated my ex that I was for the most part stronger than him (probably he felt emasculated, but I can't act weak all the time and I shouldn't have to).  Anyway, so I have big wrists.. I have big hands and fingers too for a girl.. so I wanted to try on his watch to see how much slack was in it.  Aka were his wrists bigger than mine.

There was no slack. It fit perfectly. I was horrified. I tried to get it off, but I couldn't. The latch wouldn't budge.

Mac joked "Am I going to get my watch back? Are you two trying to steal my watch?"

I tried again for the clasp. Nothing. The watch was stuck. I was sure there was some way to get it off, but I didn't dare keep his watch any longer to try to figure it out.

So I plopped my wrist enslaved in his watch down on the table before him. I am relatively sure I was beet red, and whimpered defeatedly.

"I'm sorry, I can't get it off."

I barely saw him touch the watch. The clasp released, and he had the watch off in seconds.  I was mortified and felt like an idiot. He was smiling.

****

So back to our texting. Up until now, all our texting could be "friendly." I had no idea until last night where he possibly stood on the issue.  I knew he was new to town, so maybe he was just desperate for a friend.

Then he asks: "So what do you do for fun besides play on the iPhone and brush off online stalkers?"

"The normal stuff. Make fun of fellow bowlers, Try to steal people's watches."

He laughed, and I replied with a real answer.. listing a bunch of "date" type stuff that I like to do.  Not that it matters, I'm pretty sure Mac could make anything fun.

He replies with "Me? Movies (out and in), hike, work, read, sex, nap, and all of those you said."

... wait.. did I read that right.. he put in sex? Normally alarm bells would be going off in my head that he just wanted a quick lay, but I'm trusting my impression of him that if thats what he wanted.. he could get it anywhere anytime from any random girl. But I'm pretty certain that the fact he put it in the list, is a good sign he wants to be more than friends.

So I reply "Oh I left off the reading and napping and sex. *sigh* Obviously you're much more in touch with the fun stuff."

Mac - "Ha ha. Your sarcasm is noticed. lol."

Me - "Sarcasm? No no. Really. At least two of those are much more fun than my list."

Mac - "Reading and Napping?"

Me - "Yes exactly. How'd you know? lol"

Mac - "Lucky Guess"

Me - ":)"

Mac - "I don't really like sex. Maybe because of all the laughing that takes place."

Mac - "Lmao"

Me - "Lmao. Lots of laughing during sex? That's either the best sex or the worst sex in the world. Guess it depends if both are laughing or just one."

Mac - "I am impressed that you had a response for that one"

I am not easily stumped. I can usually find a witty retort.. online or text anyway... real life interaction I'm much less skilled.. 

We chatted for quite a while longer.. talking about this or that.

But I'm hopeful. Hope is nice. I am hoping though that he's not just out for some casual sex encounter or F-buddy. Imma gunna get hurt if thats the case.

Slowly Getting To Know You (maybe?)

Sunday I was completely glad that I'd taken Halloween off. It was a busy day.

I started out my day with my bookclub. We were reading Frankenstein. I'll warn you that if you haven't read it.. Don't. Its nothing like the movies, and completely full of whining and repetition. It is a great book though for when it was written and some of the concepts within it.. but its not a good read in my opinion. (-waits for the villagers to come kill her-)

The bookclub went fine, and I finally got to see my old crush and talk to him for a while. We'll just call him Mr. Lawyer. He is the sexiest nicest man ever... ok I exaggerate, but its my tale and I'll do that if I want. :) I may be biased.

After bookclub was Gingerman. Gingerman as I've mentioned before is my favorite bar, and as luck would have it my friends were gathering there right after my bookclub finished, and the Gingerman is 2 blocks away from my bookclub. Wild horses couldn't have kept me away!

Plus.. Don was supposed to be there.

Two blocks, Favorite Bar, and Don? Oh hell yes!

I get there just a bit early, and get a pint down before people start arriving. I hadn't planned on organizing the group; it just happened. It was a ton of fun catching up with some people I've not seen in ages.

Then Don arrived. Since I'd gotten tied into organizing and greeting, I was surrounded by people and already in conversation. I caught his eye and smiled.

He'd gone back to the bar and grabbed himself a beer, then came back and sat at a couch near me. As soon as he could manage to get a work in edgewise he asked.

"So what did you end up doing the other night after you left?"

At this point, and with the look in his eyes, I'd have loved to had a huge story about a fabulous party I went to, or a date.. or something jealousy inducing. Instead I told him that I'd come with Evie and had to leave with her or bribe someone to take me to my car.

He was unimpressed with my story, and then asked about my Halloween. Halloween, as you all know, was even less impressive, but since I was more than happily proud of it being that way, it wasn't a sad story.

As it turned out, most of the people at Gingerman's were not as blissfully happy with how their Halloween had turned out. Some in fact were quite adamantly jealous of mine.

Don and I talked for a while talking only to each other despite the fact that several people were between us. It didn't last long as most people in the middle of a conversation join it, or leave. Since these people all know both of us, they were more than happy to chime in. Thus I got distracted talking to people closer to me, and Don, seeing that his best bud arrived, moved way across the room to join him.

Don actually moved around the room several times, talking to nearly everyone. While that is normally my way of doing things, I just didn't feel like it. Instead, I sat in the same exact seat the entire night. I figured if people wanted to talk to me they could come to me, and amazingly they did.

Most of the time the seats around me were filled by friends or new people wanting to be friends, or by people who just wanted to sit on the comfy couch. It was a very comfy seat, which was another reason I didn't move around. I managed to meet everyone without any real effort. I felt like a queen. It was awesome.

Unfortunately, with the seats being filled it was nearly impossible for Don to sit close to me if he even wanted. But at one point he did manage to sit next to me on the couch.

Now I don't know for sure that he sat on the couch next to me to be close to me, as there was a cute girl sitting on the other side of his seat on the couch and he did talk to her almost more than he was talking to me (or maybe thats my perception based on insecurities?).

But we did flirt quite often even from across the room. I was always catching him looking in my direction, either on purpose or by casual I don't know, but I'd make little funny communicative faces then smile or laugh as appropriate.

The looks I gave him were along the lines of "I know you're staring me I'm so hot you can't help it" followed by a flirty laugh, "I'm pretending to be mad at you, see how mad I can look" followed by a smile, "Are you stalking me?" followed by a smile which said "if so, I like it", "I caught you looking at me, do I have spinach in my teeth? or something?"...

It actually was quite funny, and he was getting a kick out of it as well. Like he was on Friday, he also was fitting in more sexual inuendos in conversations with me or where I was present. Up until lately he'd be quite reserved in his conversations around me, so I'm thinking he might be a little interested or he's just comfortable around me now.

Its a little hard for me to remember our entire conversation, but I gave as good as I got.

Throughout the evening the group had talked about sitting in the livingroom setting or sitting outside in the nice weather. I gave many many reasons for my choice of inside and everyone except the smokers were more than happy to be inside. But after a few beers, I get a little frisky.

I had just come back from the bar with my 3rd or 4th beer, and saw Don standing alone by the door to the patio. So I struck up conversation..

"See thats another reason I chose to sit inside. The hard benches. Don't get me wrong, I like hard things.. just not benches."

I smiled and walked away. I think he was a little stunned, as it took him a moment but he called out after me as I walked away.

"Good flirt! Very good flirt!"

I turned and smiled at him, mimicked a curtsey, and replied, "Thank You, I'm here all night."

We played this cat-mouse game the rest of the night, until he went home. This time though he did come find me (which wasn't hard since I was on his way out) and told me he was heading home. We hugged goodbye, and I being a little tipsy was tempted to kiss his neck.. he smells so good, not cologne good but man-good.. but I didn't.. I behaved.

After he left though, I ran into one of the girls and we began to talking. She brought up Don, and said she had trouble figuring him out. She couldn't tell if he was interested in her or not.

My hopes sunk a little with that.

What A Night!

Last night I had a great night. My workaholic FB and I finally managed to get together, and I still managed to make it to my "Better Flirting" group.

I joined the "Better Flirting" group, not that I really needed tips on how to flirt, because I figured it couldn't hurt and I might meet some different single men.

I walked in 45 minutes late, (Hey I was late but I made it damn it) and immediately found myself in conversation with an extremely attractive man. He started out the conversation with:

"I'm so glad you showed up." He said this with a tone of "You just saved me from them."

Since I'd just arrived, I looked around to see what he meant. Half the women were about 10-20 yrs older than me at least, and the others I wasn't sure about. The men however were all much older than him, the youngest being roughly my age if I'm being kind. Only one of the rest of the men would I have even bothered to give a second of my time.

I replied, "What? You don't like older men?"

We laughed. He filled me in on what I'd missed, and clarified that the rest of the room were wine drinkers in a tone which said snooty. I told him I was very versatile with alcohol as I like a little wine, a little beer, and a little vodka. So we began talking about his beer, and how much I loathe NXNW's beers and which beers I do like and where to go in town to get the best beers. (Ever want to get me plowed? Take me to the Gingerman and tell me the tabs on you.)

We simply put hit it off immediately. Out of a self-imposed duty and encouragement from others in the group that this what was supposed to be done at this time anyway, I forced myself to go mingle and meet everyone.

I ended up getting trapped in a conversation with a 50+ yr old man with braces and possibly a retainer. I have no idea what we talked about, because well thats how much I was enjoying the conversation. I had a hot guy who wanted to talk to me damn it. Luckily I remembered that I'd come late, and so used the excuse that I didn't have much time to talk to any ONE person and thus must "flitter" on. Phew!

I made it back to Mr. Hot just before the organizer decided it was time for us to sit around the tables and talk as a group, which meant that I got to sit next to Mr. Hot. Yeah baby!

Unfortunately the organizer sat on my other side and to anyone with half a brain, hit on me while doing his speech about the group. It was that type of hitting on you where you can take it as platonic flirting or you can take him seriously.. and I had no idea how to take him.. but I can keep up with the best.. and I did much to his dismay. So for most of the organizer's speech I didn't even get to see Mr. Hot and ended up flirting with the attractive but too old for me organizer right in front of him. Yay!

So I was pretty sure that while I was showing my excellent flirting skills, wit, and intellect, I was also screwing up with Mr. Hot.

Then the organizer explained the next exercise. We were to find a person that we were attracted to, sit facing each other with our knees touching and look into each others eyes for 2 one minute sessions. It was to help us get used to eye contact.

As soon as he'd said the exercise, I was on pins and needles. On one hand I was praying "Organizer, please do not choose me" on the other hand I was praying "OMG, what if Mr Hot chooses someone else and I'm stuck with Mr Too Old for Braces?"

I didn't have to wait long. I looked at Mr Hot. He looked at me.

"You wanna?"

I couldn't turn my chair fast enough. I was extremely nervous about just how into this he wanted to get, and if he really wanted to get our knees touching, but as soon as our chairs were facing each other, he had his knees touching mine and we were looking into each other eyes.

And we talked. And gazed. And talked. Our knees constantly touching. At one point I laughed and touched his knee.. At one point he laughed and touched mine. About 15 minutes later, the organizer interrupted us. Bastard.

And the organizer talked. And talked. And talked. But neither of us moved our chairs. At one point, one of our knees stopped touching. I think I moved slightly to see the organizer. Suddenly his knee was there touching mine again.

I was also cold, and since I wasn't getting heated anymore by the eye contact, I started to really feel the chill. We were outside on a deck, and I freeze easy. Mr. Hot asked if I was cold as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. So I touched my ice cold fingers to his arm, and said I was freezing.

"Wow, you really are cold!" He said as he took my hand in his to warm it. (Le Sigh)

Then he seemed to realize that we were ... er.. holding hands, and he let go. (Le Sad Sigh)

After that the group was essentially over, and Mr Hot had to work in the morning so he left. I should have walked out with him, but I also wasn't sure I wanted the night to end.. there was talk of going to a Vodka party next door. So we didn't get a real goodbye. (Oh and the vodka party thing fell through, so I was really kicking myself)

When I did get home, I sent him a message saying it was great to meet him. He hasn't replied yet, so we'll see.

But nevertheless, we'll always have NXNW.

My Interesting Night Out

I so needed a night out, and last night I finally got one. I got all gussied up.. well appropriately gussied. With the play I'm doing, I have to have my hair messy so I've not been able to do my hair properly for a while now. It was SOOOO good to finally do my hair. I put on a new shirt that I bought without trying it on, put it on and OMG I'm totally in love with it. It was a little tight, but in all the right places.

Ok, so I went out to a Happy Hour with one of the groups I'm in. I knew about half the people who showed up, and there were a few new people. It was great to see people again and catch up.. the best was meeting the new people.

I wasn't really trying to meet new people, but alas when there was new people showing up (I was near the entrance most of the night talking to some friends) and no one was greeting them... well my empathy takes over and I welcomed them to the group and made the appropriate introductions and found someone for conversation with them.

I absolutely hate going to a new meeting or group and no one greets you. Its absolutely the worst.

So one of the people I greeted was a rather unimpressive looking man. He was attractive, but not someone that you'd see in a crowd and say "he's hot". He just looked like your average guy. He stayed and chatted with me for a while, and then went off to get a drink. In my "hostess" way of being, I occasionally glanced his direction to make sure that he did get a drink and found other conversation. He did and had so I relaxed and just did my own thing.

Soon after I found him back at my side and talking to me and giving me his card. He was charming and fun, and we began talking even more. I'd told him that I was moving from beer to vodka as I noticed they carried my favorite. So when he bought his next beer, he bought me a vodka.

As people would drift in and out, he'd talk to them but he'd always come back to me and flirt. It was looking promising the more I knew about him.

Towards the end of the Happy Hour, the group was winding down and we got to meet a couple females that I hadn't met before. One of them I swear I know from somewhere, we agreed she has to be someone's doppelganger. She was relatively pretty, but soon found out she had a boyfriend. The other one was from my home state of Nebraska and to be honest acted like she hadn't been out of that state very long. Mitzi was blonde, and didn't have too bad of a body but her face was ... well.. ugly.

She was nice and friendly with me, and she seemed to like Josh (the guy I'd been flirting with), but she'd been hanging all over a younger man more her age the entire night so I wasn't concerned.

We all decided to move the party over to another bar. As we were finishing drinks some friends came back in, and mentioned another group was at the bar so I stole off for a few minutes to see who all else was there. It was of course the "Athiest" group. Damn it. But one of the guys was hot. He was tall, built.. like he used to be linebacker. He was nice and took my joking for the flirting that it was (I think). Seriously he was a dangerous combo. Good looking, smart, funny - He told me he was a Frisbitarian "when you die, your soul gets trapped on the roof and you can't get it down". Unfortunately he was also toting a book he thought was amazing (the author was present) which "proved" that the old testament was fairy tales. Really not a good sign, but man he was hot, so I invited their group to join us at the new location.

I saw that my original group was leaving to the new destination, and I joined them. Josh walked beside me, and we flirted some more. At the new place, I ended up sitting next to Josh, we talked, we flirted, and we held hands under the table. We were both social with the people around us, talking, laughing, but always coming back to each other with a touch or whatever.

The Atheists joined us, and because of the way things were situated, I moved over to their table for a while. Josh ordered food and joined me there. Sat beside me, caressed my knee, occasionally put his hand on my shoulder, and held my hand under the table. I was pretty confident by this time, so when I saw Mitzi starting to hang on him (she did this actually while he was holding my hand btw) I wrote her off.. and he seemed flattered by it but not really interested.

As the night progressed people kept milling around and not keeping to their seats, and the seat next to the hot atheist opened up so I sat down to talk to him. Josh had gotten up from beside me by this point and was talking in among the rest of our original group. So I chatted with the atheist, we flirted a bit. He feigned being offended by my flirty jabs at his atheism, and I jokingly mentioned that I could move to the other side of the room if he was in such discomfort.. He replied

"You're fine right where you are."

Which I took as promising. Unfortunately, my alcohol intake had gotten the better of me and I accidently dumped an entire large glass of ice water all down my front. I was mortified. Atheist offered me napkins, but I was way beyond that point. Fortunately my black shorts did not show where they were wet and I was able to mill around without everyone knowing what I'd done. Small blessings.

Atheist left soon after that. It was getting late and quite a few people were leaving. Josh went to the bar to get a new drink, and asked if he could get me anything. I told him a "Framboise". He repeated it and went to the bar. He was gone a long time, so I went to see what the hold up was. He was flirting with the waitstaff and bartender. He was quite inebriated by this point, but he saw me and put his arm around me. He however had not ordered me a drink, and since I knew I really didn't need one I didn't remind him. There was a moment where we easily could have kissed, our faces were close, but he didn't kiss me, and I am not really into being that brazen unless I'm looking for a one night stand... which I'm not. Had he kissed me, I'd have returned it, but he did not.

Then came the dividing up the bill. A friend of mine was making it a complete pain in the ass. Most of us had cards, and since when they run your card there's always the "tip line" I like to make sure the total is covered, then people can tip as they deem appropriate. Tipping for me is an extremely private thing. Its between me and the waitstaff, and is a symbol of my appreciation or not of their job performance. But he wanted to make sure she had a huge tip and wanted all of us with cards to verbally "promise" him that she'd get a huge tip on our cards. I think he was drunk himself, because simple math was way beyond him and yet until he understood it he wouldn't allow me to turn the money over to the waitress. This took forever.

When all was said and done and we finally could leave, I didn't see Josh anywhere. I figured he'd run to the toilet or something and would catch up.

But as we were walking out, I saw him a few paces ahead with Mitzi. They were walking fast. My friend and his date were planning on going to another place for music, and shouted to Josh & Mitzi an invitation. Josh turned around, and me being behind my friend and his date (so they wouldn't see me), I flipped him off.

I told my friend and his date I was tired and said my good byes. Josh and Mitzi scurried down the street as fast as possible and were soon out of site.

I went home. I think.. I may have just dodged a bullet.