Keep 'em Coming And Make 'em Strong

Saturday night I went out with Getty, my dog-sitting friend who saved me lots of money sitting my dog while I went to Cali this last summer, and who hooked me up with the best sex night I've had this year.

I hadn't seen or talked to her in weeks, and wondered if I'd pissed her off, but alas no. She's just been antisocial and in a negative mood she said. So..

1. Yay there still a possibility she might dog-sit in the future someday.
2. Damn that means I still have to deal with her if I want her to sit for my dog again.

Honestly, there are times hanging with her isn't a bad thing. And there are times when hanging with her is excruciating torture. Unfortunately, this was pretty close to torture, and definitely excruciating.

I initially wanted to go see a movie, but she didn't want to see "Men Who Stare At Goats". She wanted to see some horror flick. I can't recall the title, but

ME + HORROR = A. Nightmares for a week. B. Freaking out everywhere I go when something happens or resembles something that happened in said-movie C. Screaming like a little girl with my eyes covered and my fingers in my ears the entire movie. D. Walking out of the movie after slugging the person who talked me into watching the movie in the arm. E. Several of the Above. F. All of the Above

So I just refuse to watch anything horror. Trust me. Its safer for you and me.

Anyway, we couldn't agree on a movie which wasn't a problem. No biggie. So we decided to go out to eat, and she talked me into going to Cool River. So I got all gussied up and met her there.

Now on the phone prior to going to eat, she'd talked non-stop and barely let me get any kind of word in unless it was discussing where to go and then she'd only let me get the name of the place in before she'd start in again. Annoying but I figured she'd calm down in person.

She did not.

Instead, she was all about telling me every thought that came into her head and every little judgement of whatever inane thing that came across her mind. If I disagreed with her, and attempted to express my opinion I would barely get one or two words out and she'd continue talking. She did not listen nor did she give me any feedback language indicating that she even understood my actual point (really how could she when I didn't even finish one sentence?). She did however notice that I was getting frustrated and politely said,

"I know you're point, but ... " and continued on without me.

To which I swear my head spinned and flames shot out of my eyes. In my head, I was thinking "OMG how the fucking hell could you possibly know my point when you don't even listen to a freaking word I'm saying? Really?"

She switched subjects often as one subject reminded her of another subject.

So I tried to give up talking to her and just sat there eating my food. She did not stop talking even then. She did not really pause. She just kept going like she was loaded with Duracell and covered in faux-bunny-fur.

"I just don't understand how people feel its their responsibility to shove their food tastes on you! I don't like fish, damn it. Tell me, how in the hell does it affect their lives if I don't taste their freaking fish dish?"

Now you might think that this would require a response. I know I thought so too. And it actually did. She paused and waited until I attempted one. If I waited too long to respond, she'd repeat the whole rant and end with the question. So I tried to reply:

"Well some people..."

She started up again, and went further on her rant. So when the same question came around again, I decided to answer it differently.

"It shouldn't really..."

And I was cut off again. It went like this from subject to subject to subject. Her expressing her opinions like verbal vomit, and myself pretending to be totally unaffected by it. (I did once actually raise my voice to her and tell her to shut up and listen to me, I'm not normally that rude but she wasn't giving me a choice, to which she turned all pouty, silent, and sullenly angry. The kind of listening that a 5 yr old does when they don't get their way... aka not at all.)

She did go on a rant about some guy who walked away from her saying "You're way negative. I just cannot be around such negativity." And she went on and on about 10 minutes on how he must have something wrong with him. It was all I could do not to laugh as she had been proving his point over and over all night.

By the end of the night, I had a massive headache. I put in my time, and I'm not really sure having a dog-sitter-friend is worth all of this.

I do know that it will be a long time until I subject myself to a one-on-one with her again. There is not enough alcohol in the world.

Lets Get Catty

Last Thursday, I posted about "Where to Meet Someone" and talked about joining groups as one good way to do it.

After my experience on Friday, I may have to take some of that gusto back.

First, against my inner-voice telling me that the group was going to be bad, I joined a Christian Social Group. As I've mentioned in past posts, I've been wavering about getting back into church and figured a social group would be a good way to see if I should progress further.

My inner-voice is usually right 98% of the time, but I ignore it just in case this might be one of the 2% of the times that its wrong.

My inner voice was telling me that the group was going to be lame mainly on the fact that the organizer seemed weird. Now don't get me wrong. I love weird, just not this kind of weird. I'd seen her post a few times from other groups and had seen enough of her around online that I just knew in my gut that she was not "my people".

In her defense, Tina's a really nice person. Clean and dresses relatively appropriately for her figure. She's not overly fancy, but down to earth and seems to care about everyone. As a person, she's probably a lot closer to Mother Theresa than I'll ever get.

That said.

She seems a little socially awkward and not very bright. Her friends that came to the group were people in need of psycho-wards and showers. Tina was wearing a tshirt, jeans, and white tennis shoes for a night out, which looked like she'd purchased all of them at Wal-Mart. And while her body was not at all her fault, it added to the pile as her torso was sized right for a person about 5'6, but her arms and legs were several inches shorter than would be proportional. She also calls it a night at 10pm.

When I first arrived, it was her and I plus 3 guys. I knew instantly from looking at her that we weren't going to be best buds, but she seemed ok. Of the three guys, two were interesting, and one was a little old but seemed nice. So out of courtesy I stayed for a while. (As it turned out this group meeting was a regular secular social group and the Christian group.. so not exactly what I was looking to find anyway.)

Then other people started joining us. A very good looking older woman, Rena joined us. Then a woman I've met before and found annoying (she's nice, dressed well, but annoys me for a reason I can't place). Then another girl joined us who was younger, extremely pretty - even I would be tempted to do her - and very funny.

Then Tina's friends started showing up. The first one that came was probably a great girl, she sat at the other end of the table from me so I can't say, but she walked in looking like she'd just come from the gym or a very active romp in the sack. No makeup, hair completely a mess, and gym clothes.

The second friend .. was.. well.. WOW. Seriously WOW, but I'll try to break it down better for you. She also had no makeup and gym-type clothes on with jeans. She was fat in the ways that they make fun of fat people with fat suits kind of fat. She had hanging jowls, a drooping chin that ran into her neck with little to no division. Her body actually had little structure (if she exercised at all I'll be shocked) and her flesh just seemed to hang in lumps. Her hair looked like she hadn't washed it in days, and she kinda smelled that way as well.

And then she talked.

I was sitting next to one of the guys, Alan, and she was on my other side. He and I had been having quite a good conversation, and she had just arrived. We were talking about driving skills and the different places you drove in and the skills needed for successful driving in those areas. IE.. differences between driving in Chicago vs Austin vs NY vs midwest. She wanted to join in and asked Alan if he thought it was a gender thing being able to drive.. if because she's a woman that she's a bad and timid driver.

She said this question in a whiny woah-is-me voice that not only had the question offended me but the voice in which she said it made me want to slap her silly and tell her to grow some balls. But I didn't. I played nice. :)

Alan and I agreed that it had little to do with gender. Alan and I had just finished discussing how where you learned to drive tended more to dictate the way you drove, and just dragged that theme a little further to answer her question. Alan and I both learned to drive in a small town with little fear of traffic. She had learned to drive in large city California. So we nicely told her that it was probably the fear of the vast amounts of traffic that gave her that mindset.

She instead went on about how timid she was, and fearful of driving, how slow she drove, and OH how fast other people went.. and Oh how she'd love to just get over her fears.. And how her mother was the same way, and Oh how she decided not to be like her mother.. blah blah whiny wine blah

Alan and I were both looking for ways to exit the conversation, alas no nice ways availed themselves. So Alan turned to his other side as if he'd gotten engaged in a vastly interesting conversation there, and left me to talk to her. Thanks ALAN!

It took nearly every ounce of remaining social grace inside me not to turn to her and shove my foot up her ass and tell her to grow a pair.

Thankfully she saw Mr Hot Guy walk in a few minutes before. He sat at the far end of the table from me, so I didn't get to talk to him much. She made the excuse that she hadn't met that side of the table yet, and there was an empty seat over there so she went to sit over there and introduce herself. I was so relieved that she was gone that I barely took time to feel sorry for Mr Hot Guy.

The rest of the evening was uneventful. People one by one were leaving, and at the end of the evening it was Alan and I with Rena, the annoying girl, the whiney girl, bedhead girl, and Tina.

I put on my best excited voice and said "Lets move the party somewhere else. Maybe get a drink somewhere nearby?"

I was hoping that Alan, Rena, and I could ditch the rest of them. Alan however was calling it a night (he btw looks and acts almost exactly like Alan Harper off of Two and a Half Men). That pretty much dampened my spirits of wanting to go out, and when I let my energy die the rest of the group said it was best to call it a night.

We all walked out together, and I pulled Rena aside and asked if she was up for going anywhere else. She was.

We talked a bit and went to karaoke. By this time of the evening, after having had to hold my tongue the entire night amongst people I was extremely uncomfortable with.. I could no longer hold back. I went full catty bitch on our previous company. Rena almost peed her pants laughing at humorous account of the previous events. She said she couldn't have agreed more. We were fast friends.

She's exactly 10 yrs older than me, and definitely what you'd consider a cougar. As much as I don't like that term, she fits it to a tee. But she's fun and funny and gets my humor. I am a little concerned though. We saw a couple young men with their girlfriends. Young men who looked borderline 18-21, and thus too young for me. She remarked that one of them was hot and she could just eat him up. She's a High School teacher. So ... umm.. yeah.