My Meeting With The Playas

The other night I went out with Evie and a friend of hers. In all honesty, I went for the possibility of meeting someone, yet with the full expectation of being completely bored out of my mind. A group of 3 girls almost always leaves one as the third wheel, and since Evie's friend and her were childhood friends, I fully expected to be the third wheel.




But I needed to go out, and nothing else that night sounded even remotely entertaining.



We went to a play and then the after-party. It was a small production with a small audience. It was ok. Some of the actors, you could tell were naturally talented and the rest were really trying to be. It was at least entertaining.



Then about 20 minutes from the end, I see Evie's ex? I guess thats who he is. I can't remember if they'd had sex or exactly what... But I do know that she's at least seen his penis, and helped him get off. They're "friends" now, but with Evie that could be FwB or just platonic friends. Its really hard to say.



Evie can't go a night without a guy. During the show, she'd texted him to meet her there. So when I saw him come in.. I knew what had happened and I rolled my eyes.



It doesn't help that I just cannot stand the guy. I avoid him like he's got cooties. He comes off as needy and desperate. And I've got the feeling that any woman will do for him as long as she's mildly attractive (not hideous), and not illegal. (I guess I should be thankful he has some standards huh?)



Plus.. from Evie, I know WAY more that I ever wanted to about his sexual interests and erm.. proclivities. If I wasn't interested by the fact that he looks like a doofus, or by the fact that he acts like he's only out for getting laid and desperately at that, then his sexual preferences alone would have sealed the deal for me that I wasn't going to touch him with a 10 foot pole.



After the show was over, and while we waited for the after-party to start, I found out that Trey had brought two friends with him.



Techincally he brought one friend, who brought his friend.. but thats just me nitpicking.



So we're standing around, and these two guys join our group. I of course wonder who they are, and Evie introduces them.



I honestly don't remember their names. So I'm gunna make up some names.



The first one was chatty, but from the moment he opened his mouth, my lady parts shuddered and recoiled. Jessie's voice was a little .. umm.. too high and he talked with just a slight lisp. Had he not talked about screwing women, I would have sworn he was gay. He was around my height, but with delicate bone structure. His wrists were even dainty. The thought of him having sex with a woman quite frankly made me giggle... a lot.



He talked as if he was Mr. MacDaddy which wasn't helping the situation any. Maybe he does get all the girls. Who knows.. I just find it immensely unbelievable. To be honest, I found the idea of him and Trey being secret lovers much much more believable.



The third guy, Bill, was shy and completely did not fit with the other two. He was new to town, so I excused his judgement in friends. He had long hair and was Native American. He actually was kind of sweet, but way too young. That didn't keep him from attempting to hit on me though. So cute, in an adorable little boy way (I know.. just the way guys hope to be seen right?), but about an hour or so later he admitted his age and he was barely legal. WAY too young for me, and thus I was right in thinking of him as a little boy.



So none of them were at all.. in any way.. potential interests of mine. This actually made the night more fun, because they ALL thought that I'd be happy to have them.



Dear Men... I am not that desperate.. and will never be that desperate.. Sorry.



So the party got started, and people started going back inside. It was hot inside. Like sauna hot. I went in to be social for a bit, but found my way outside rather quickly. The last thing I needed was to be miserable on top of this potential boredom.



A few minutes later, one guy after the other came outside as well. Soon it was myself and the three guys.



We began to talk. Jessie kept giving the youngin' Bill some MacDaddy advice, which I would then critique and tell him how to do it better. Then Jessie saw that as a sign to out do himself. It became this challenge to show me how much of a MacDaddy he was. I couldn't have secretly laughed at him more. At one point he said:



"I shouldn't tell you because you'll hate me."



To which I replied, "If I don't hate you by now, I'm pretty sure there's nothing you can come up with."



He stammered and still pretended to be all gentlemanly in refusing to divulge his scoundrel secrets in my presence.



"Ok.. by hate you.. what did you mean by that?"



Jessie turned red, and so I continued...



"If you mean by hate you, that I would no longer want to have sex with you.. let me put your mind at ease.. that ship sailed within the first minutes of meeting you. So just say what you were going to say."



He looked at me agast, and then did his best to recover. He tried to ask what it was that turned me off, but I simply brushed him off with a "Eh, you're not my type." (Rather than telling him that he reminded me of some gay friends from college.) He retorted with a "Oh well at least we're on the same page." which made me laugh.

Yes yes... I can be a bitch, but I honestly cared not at all what this guy or his friends thought of me.

So he continues about his rules for "dating" which were quite frankly steps to have a one night stand. He did pretty much every cliche' without actually mentioning roofies, though he did mention that getting a girl completely plowed so she'd not remember how to get back to his place later. I know.. a charmer. I of course added rules for him, and instead told him that he should just go to her place. No one can say I'm not helpful. :)



If I'm not interested in dating you, and I'm pretty sure you're harmless (or at least that even the smallest woman could kick your ass), I'm more than willing to share my knowledge to help you get laid.. by someone else. :) Its just how I roll.

Bill however was really enjoying the conversation and cursing that he had no way to take notes. The poor guy. In reality all Bill would have to do to get laid is to hang out with these two morons he was with, then go appologize to the girls later and state that he was new to town. He was sweet, honest, and not bad looking.. and following the wake of the other two guys, he'd look like the catch of the day.
Trey however was not liking the conversation. He instead was trying desperately to convince me that his playboy past was over (like I really believed he had a playboy past), and he was now looking for a real relationship. He was not grasping the idea that I could have cared less about what he was looking for.. I was not interested.. yet he continually tried to impress me with his "seeking a relationship" self.



When we began to discuss ages.. Trey started it by saying he was 40 (he looks maybe 34) and how 30 was the new 20 for him. The others also stated their ages, and then came my turn, which I declined. They were 19, 31, and 40.. and I just let them believe whatever age they thought I was. Generally I'm assumed to be in my late 20's or early 30's, so I figure they thought I was.



Then Trey began commenting on the music that was wafting outside from the party.



"I used to skate to this back in '78"



Which we all would tease him about making himself sound ancient. Heck I'm not much younger than him, and even I thought he sounded old the things he was saying.



It was one "I'm old" statement after anouther which kept me entertained by teasing him about how old he was making himself sound and "Thats the way to win the Ladies, man." sarcasm. I honestly don't think he understood just exactly how off-putting his "remember when" was, or would be to younger women.. when their parents would be the ones saying those "remember whens".



We were outside talking for a couple hours before the other two girls came out, and we all parted ways.



All in all it was a good night.. Lots of fun (for me anyway.)

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

The other night I went out with some friends. These are newish friends and are a lot of fun. 

So anyway, they invite their friends. I invite my friends. Its a friends of friends of friends party essentially.

And I meet men. Plural.

As statistics go, it was about normal. Most were married. Some were gay. A few were single.

One of the married men is a friend of mine already. We've been flirting innocently for months. I've met his wife and think she's pretty awesome... well when she's not on a soapbox.. but then I suppose I'm not all that awesome when I'm on mine either. They're a great couple though, and the flirting is just a little fun. Though I have to say, should he suddenly be single.. that might change. (insert sly wink here)

I do have to say though that when she joked about trading him in for a younger model, I nearly grabbed him and put a dibs on him myself.  I was a little tipsy at the time. Luckily just a little tipsy. He's taken. I get it and I admire it. Doesn't make him any less eye candy though.

The gay guy was well.. wow. He wasn't over the top gay. Just looking at him he looked like any ordinary completely gorgeous manly athletic straight man. Seriously HOT. And then he spoke.

He didn't have a huge lisp or a feminine voice really, so it wasn't a huge giveaway to the general public.  However, he was all about "fabulous" with the appropriate inflections, and friendly in a platonic fun way that only happily married men and men who completely aren't interested in you and have no concerns at all that you might be. He was fun and engaging, and I soooo want him.. as my new best friend. :) 

However almost immediately after entering the bar, I noticed this guy. He was dressed like I like em. Button down shirt, slacks, nice shoes. Yes I totally get off on business attire. Shut up.

He however looked like he was good friends maybe more with a friend of mine. So I backed off initially. He was buying her drinks and I assumed they were together. 

We talked a bit about his job which is unrelated to anything I do, and Hock immediately was in his wallet and giving me his card. I didn't ask for it nor did I show extra interest in what he did thus provoking a card. He just gave me one.

This got my thoughts going, and I started doubting that they were more than friends. Maybe I was crazy, but I felt slightly hit on. I shrugged it off and moved on to mingle elsewhere.

My girl friends however were way ahead of me drinking. They were off flirting and groping strange men and men they knew. 

"So you're having a butt grabbing game?"

"Yes, you should join us! Go grope someone.." they replied as they scoped the room looking for a victim for me.

"Umm I'm way not drunk enough for that yet. Let me go catch up."

Thus the tone of the night was set, and I got tipsy despite all efforts at self-control. Ok, there wasn't much effort at self-control.

I mingled. I flirted. Single. Married. Gay. I flirted, and I drank.

Then I ran into Hock again. This time we talked more, played bar games together, and flirted. 

We drifted apart each mingling in different areas of the bar, and met up again. Flirted, and I wrapped my arm around his waist. He put his arm around me.

This is where things got fuzzy. Up until this point, I wasn't sure if he was or was not into me. He was laid back, relaxed, and non-aggressive. I normally assume this to be not interested. 

However our exchange while our bodies were close and touching was anything but platonic. He'd mentioned several times in absolute seriousness that he was just out for fun right now. I got the impression that there was more to it, some kind of lingering pain or psychosis that he'd not worked through yet. But fun.. sounded fun.

He asked if I wanted to take this somewhere else. I honestly can't remember if the question was go somewhere else like another bar, or if it was a go have sex question. I know I answered it as the latter.

"How about your place?"

"Ok. Let me close out." 

He was sweet and polite, and it confused me. I think I might be a little jaded. I waited while he went to the bar to close out.

He was polite the entire way out. We left arm in arm and he walked me back to my car as he told me his address. Not once did he ask for my number. So I assumed this was one night stand fun. I'd already figured that out by his mention of just wanting to have fun.

He then began to "sell" me on himself in an awkward insecure kind of way. Essentially telling me that he's more than financially sound, and talking about his political beliefs (which were sexy btw)... I honestly felt like telling him..

"Dude I'm in this for the sex. Your trust funds, stock portfolio, or whatever matter not. You said fun, not dating. Are you changing your mind now?"

But I didn't. I merely told him that his finances mattered not at all to me.

We get to my car and we kiss. He's a good kisser, but kind. Gentle. I know I'm a good kisser, and I know I know how to provoke a man into being an animal. So I tried. We were getting hot and heavy, but the more I tried to provoke him the more docile he seemed to get, and the more turned on.

I admit having power over a man sexually is pretty damn awesome, but on a one night stand kind of fun thing.. I'm not used to being in charge. I'd much rather the guy pin me to the wall and take me. But the more I tried to encourage it, the less it seemed to happen.

At one point I even remarked to him about it, hinting that I thought he was taking the backseat, being a submissive, or whatever. If he'd have verbally owned it, I'd have taken charge.. but he insisted that he could be the animal just not in the public setting we were in. He promised if I came to his place that he'd show me.

So after about an hour or so of making out and causing a public scene. More than once being told to "get a room". No clothes came off.. just kissing. I told him I'd meet him at his place. I reminded him that he didn't have my number, and he replied with, "well you have my card right?"

Weird.

So I go to meet him at his place but stop off at my apt quickly first to freshen up. My makeup is all over the place and my nose was beet red from his 5 o'clock shadow. I needed some major fixing. I also slipped on some sexy lingerie.

I also felt my "illness" acting up.. the one I've mentioned in previous posts. Its actually a "condition" not an illness, so not communicable.. but nevertheless I took my meds and hoped that would put an end to the symptoms and let me have a good couple hours of sex. He promised just a fun thing, so I figured I just needed to be symptom-free for a few hours.

I get to his place. He apologizes for its state (which is cleaner than my place btw). We resume kissing and find our way to the bedroom.

What happened was not what I was prepared for.. and maybe you readers can help me by letting me know if this is normal or if I'm crazy.

I tease and taunt, but still he's being docile and sweet. I began to wonder where this animal in him was hiding and if I was ever going to see it. I initiated him taking his clothes off and he did. I took my outer clothes off and left my lingerie and bra on, he never bothered to take off either one and left it completely up to me. I don't know if I'd have left them on if he'd ever have initiated me removing them. As it was, it was I that initiated and removed my own bra and panties, but the lacy camisole stayed on out of my own curiosity if he'd ask me to remove it. He did not. It was strange being so in charge of everything. Yet he told me constantly how hot I was and how sexy he found me.

He was sweet the whole time, so much so that it tugged at my heart and I thought about dating him. He'd mentioned that he'd not done this in a long time, and the way he said it made me believe him.

The sex was awkward. He would get going. I'd get going, and just as I was really getting going, he'd stop. He did this once, twice, threetimes.. I started to get very fucking annoyed.  So I asked him about it, and he said he was doing it on purpose to tease me.. 

"I wondered when you'd notice"

Seriously wanted to beat him, but he knocked it off and go going. Still it felt more like we were trying to make love rather than fuck. It was weird.  The roughest he got was with sucking/biting my neck, which he ended up giving me a hickey.

When we were finished, he wanted talk. Chat. Chit Chat. Converse. He wanted me to ask him about himself. To get to know him. WTF? After sex, I'm lucky to be able to form words. He told me how beautiful and sexy I was.  (He did amit after sex that his whole starting/stopping thing wasn't intentional. I didn't ask for more details but I should have.)

Then he wanted to cuddle. Really cuddle. Not just that after sex little cuddling thing, but cuddle like you would in a real relationship. Sweetly.

My head was seriously trying to wrap my mind around it. I wanted to lecture him that he can choose "fun" or a "relationship" but he really needs to be more clear about what he wants.

He wanted me to spend the night. He wanted to sleep cuddling. I tried to acquiesce but I am not a sleeping cuddler.  I'll cuddle. I'll sleep. But unless I'm dead tired, I don't do both at the same time.. especially not without being in a real relationship.

Finally I tell him that I need to sleep and I roll away. He falls asleep before I do, and starts snoring. Adorably he sleeps with a pillow over his face to muffle the sound. Seriously how adorable is that?

Then my "condition" started acting up. I could feel it was going to be bad. My stomach started to hurt, and I was going to need to use the restroom. More than that though, I was holding onto a fart that was going to be huge... if it was just a fart, might be more disgusting than that.

There was NO WAY IN HELL I was going to let it go at his place. He was sweet and nice, and if I wanted any hope of this happening again or possibly some kind of relationship thing in the future... I needed to go home. But I also didn't want to be that person that ditches someone.

I had to wake him up, and I felt like a bitch for doing. I tossed all sorts of reasons of why I couldn't stay around my head. Telling him I had a huge fart was not going to happen.

So I woke him telling him that I couldn't sleep and needed to go home. He insisted I could sleep there, pleading. I insisted that I needed to go home.

I felt like an ass.

He got up and showed me out. Giving me a tender hug and a kiss as we said our goodbyes.

He still didn't ask for my number.  I did email him the next day with a thank you and my number. We've text flirted a bit since and hinting at doing it again someday.

But this was not what I'd call a "fun thing", and I get the impression that he's much more of a relationship man. Maybe I'm wrong.

My Interesting Night Out

I so needed a night out, and last night I finally got one. I got all gussied up.. well appropriately gussied. With the play I'm doing, I have to have my hair messy so I've not been able to do my hair properly for a while now. It was SOOOO good to finally do my hair. I put on a new shirt that I bought without trying it on, put it on and OMG I'm totally in love with it. It was a little tight, but in all the right places.

Ok, so I went out to a Happy Hour with one of the groups I'm in. I knew about half the people who showed up, and there were a few new people. It was great to see people again and catch up.. the best was meeting the new people.

I wasn't really trying to meet new people, but alas when there was new people showing up (I was near the entrance most of the night talking to some friends) and no one was greeting them... well my empathy takes over and I welcomed them to the group and made the appropriate introductions and found someone for conversation with them.

I absolutely hate going to a new meeting or group and no one greets you. Its absolutely the worst.

So one of the people I greeted was a rather unimpressive looking man. He was attractive, but not someone that you'd see in a crowd and say "he's hot". He just looked like your average guy. He stayed and chatted with me for a while, and then went off to get a drink. In my "hostess" way of being, I occasionally glanced his direction to make sure that he did get a drink and found other conversation. He did and had so I relaxed and just did my own thing.

Soon after I found him back at my side and talking to me and giving me his card. He was charming and fun, and we began talking even more. I'd told him that I was moving from beer to vodka as I noticed they carried my favorite. So when he bought his next beer, he bought me a vodka.

As people would drift in and out, he'd talk to them but he'd always come back to me and flirt. It was looking promising the more I knew about him.

Towards the end of the Happy Hour, the group was winding down and we got to meet a couple females that I hadn't met before. One of them I swear I know from somewhere, we agreed she has to be someone's doppelganger. She was relatively pretty, but soon found out she had a boyfriend. The other one was from my home state of Nebraska and to be honest acted like she hadn't been out of that state very long. Mitzi was blonde, and didn't have too bad of a body but her face was ... well.. ugly.

She was nice and friendly with me, and she seemed to like Josh (the guy I'd been flirting with), but she'd been hanging all over a younger man more her age the entire night so I wasn't concerned.

We all decided to move the party over to another bar. As we were finishing drinks some friends came back in, and mentioned another group was at the bar so I stole off for a few minutes to see who all else was there. It was of course the "Athiest" group. Damn it. But one of the guys was hot. He was tall, built.. like he used to be linebacker. He was nice and took my joking for the flirting that it was (I think). Seriously he was a dangerous combo. Good looking, smart, funny - He told me he was a Frisbitarian "when you die, your soul gets trapped on the roof and you can't get it down". Unfortunately he was also toting a book he thought was amazing (the author was present) which "proved" that the old testament was fairy tales. Really not a good sign, but man he was hot, so I invited their group to join us at the new location.

I saw that my original group was leaving to the new destination, and I joined them. Josh walked beside me, and we flirted some more. At the new place, I ended up sitting next to Josh, we talked, we flirted, and we held hands under the table. We were both social with the people around us, talking, laughing, but always coming back to each other with a touch or whatever.

The Atheists joined us, and because of the way things were situated, I moved over to their table for a while. Josh ordered food and joined me there. Sat beside me, caressed my knee, occasionally put his hand on my shoulder, and held my hand under the table. I was pretty confident by this time, so when I saw Mitzi starting to hang on him (she did this actually while he was holding my hand btw) I wrote her off.. and he seemed flattered by it but not really interested.

As the night progressed people kept milling around and not keeping to their seats, and the seat next to the hot atheist opened up so I sat down to talk to him. Josh had gotten up from beside me by this point and was talking in among the rest of our original group. So I chatted with the atheist, we flirted a bit. He feigned being offended by my flirty jabs at his atheism, and I jokingly mentioned that I could move to the other side of the room if he was in such discomfort.. He replied

"You're fine right where you are."

Which I took as promising. Unfortunately, my alcohol intake had gotten the better of me and I accidently dumped an entire large glass of ice water all down my front. I was mortified. Atheist offered me napkins, but I was way beyond that point. Fortunately my black shorts did not show where they were wet and I was able to mill around without everyone knowing what I'd done. Small blessings.

Atheist left soon after that. It was getting late and quite a few people were leaving. Josh went to the bar to get a new drink, and asked if he could get me anything. I told him a "Framboise". He repeated it and went to the bar. He was gone a long time, so I went to see what the hold up was. He was flirting with the waitstaff and bartender. He was quite inebriated by this point, but he saw me and put his arm around me. He however had not ordered me a drink, and since I knew I really didn't need one I didn't remind him. There was a moment where we easily could have kissed, our faces were close, but he didn't kiss me, and I am not really into being that brazen unless I'm looking for a one night stand... which I'm not. Had he kissed me, I'd have returned it, but he did not.

Then came the dividing up the bill. A friend of mine was making it a complete pain in the ass. Most of us had cards, and since when they run your card there's always the "tip line" I like to make sure the total is covered, then people can tip as they deem appropriate. Tipping for me is an extremely private thing. Its between me and the waitstaff, and is a symbol of my appreciation or not of their job performance. But he wanted to make sure she had a huge tip and wanted all of us with cards to verbally "promise" him that she'd get a huge tip on our cards. I think he was drunk himself, because simple math was way beyond him and yet until he understood it he wouldn't allow me to turn the money over to the waitress. This took forever.

When all was said and done and we finally could leave, I didn't see Josh anywhere. I figured he'd run to the toilet or something and would catch up.

But as we were walking out, I saw him a few paces ahead with Mitzi. They were walking fast. My friend and his date were planning on going to another place for music, and shouted to Josh & Mitzi an invitation. Josh turned around, and me being behind my friend and his date (so they wouldn't see me), I flipped him off.

I told my friend and his date I was tired and said my good byes. Josh and Mitzi scurried down the street as fast as possible and were soon out of site.

I went home. I think.. I may have just dodged a bullet.